If I told you that making an alcoholic change was impossible would you believe me? This is often the main reason that people attend support group meetings for the first time because they want to get instructions on how to make the problem drinker change.
Before you exit, please read this article because you will find things here that will help you deal with the problem drinker in your life.
The more we try to get someone to be different than who they are the more frustrated we become. Resentments form because they cannot live up to our expectations. The two, resentment and expectations go hand-in-hand. Detaching from an alcoholic works better than trying to make them quit.
One of the toughest things to accept is that you and I have no control over what anyone chooses to do with the twenty four hours that they have in a day. This applies to everyone that I know including the alcoholic in my life.
When we exert energy trying to perused them to quit or convince them that they have a problem it will only frustrate us and them. They do not realize that they have an addiction or how serious it really is. If they do, in most cases, nine out of ten, they will deny that they have a drinking problem.
They are in total control of making the decision to quit. Until they HIT a complete, hard rock bottom, they will not look up for help. You can argue, plead, beg, jump-up-and-down and they will pay little attention to your efforts. Making them change is an impossible task that will emotionally and mentally exhaust you. When you stop confronting the alcoholic, you will experience more peace in your life.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear, but trust me, I’ve been dealing with this disease for many years now. Through attending thousands of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-anon meetings, I’ve learned that the only person who has any control over how much the alcoholic drinks is the person suffering from the disease.
Do you understand what the word addiction means? Silly question, right?
Think about that for just a moment!
If you can get a grip on what this means, making an alcoholic quit drinking will become less important to you.
When someone is addicted to alcohol, their body and mind are totally focused on getting the next drink. It is an obsession that they are consciously and sub-concisely dancing with constantly. Not only does the body physically crave the substance, the mind runs ramped with obsessive thoughts of when and how they will get the next drink.
So, what are your options?
Well, I would first recommend that you find a good support group meeting in your area. If you have several options for meetings, attend at least six or more meetings before you stop looking for family help for alcoholism.
Making changes in your own life is the answer to the problems you are facing that are related to alcoholism.
This is hard to understand at first because we have been so focused on the problem drinkers behavior that we have developed the attitude that “if only they would quit drinking” everything would be alright.
NOT TRUE! Just because a person gets sober doesn’t mean that there’s going to be peace in your life and that personality conflicts will stop.
Alcoholism is just a symptom of many deeply rooted personality problems. Once someone gets sober there is a long process of them healing from the inner conflicts that cause them to drink in the first place.
In closing, I would encourage you to start making changes in your own life. Get involved with others who are dealing with this horrible addiction. Making a problem drinker quit is not in your power. The alcoholic is going to drink even if you don’t want them to. As you attend meetings you will start understanding alcoholics
much better than you do now. There is a giant mountain of collective wisdom in relation to this subject to be gained through getting involved with others struggling with this illness.
Making someone change is not possible. You can only make changes in your own life.
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