When we realize how depressed we have become because of the effects of living with a person addicted to alcohol, this could be the turning point of our life. Sadly, we get so battered down by their continual abusive behavior that we fade into a darkness almost every day. Life doesn’t have to remain this way. Don’t you think you are entitled to live a decent life? Wouldn’t you like to smile and laugh again?
No matter what an alcoholic thinks, you are your own person. You are entitled to live without fear, uncertainty, discomfort and a hopeless attitude. Where you get the bounce-back in your life is in making a decision to change. Do you want to make a decision to change and to never return to feelings of inadequacy ever again ?
Posture yourself in a firmly planted, upright position, with your head held high and say; “I’m changing today and will never return to living a mediocre life again.“ Will you make this decision today?
You have the power to make positive changes.
You can either choose to be grateful or ungrateful. You have the power to decide to enjoy your day or not. A great place to start is by making a list of things you are grateful for. After you are finished, then make another list of the things that you really enjoy doing. Now, give yourself permission to have a little fun, no matter what the alcoholic in your life thinks about your decision.
You only have one life to live and it belongs to you. Smile, laugh, love and discover the person inside that you long to be.
Being in a relationship with an alcoholic has the power to really confuse your life and destroy your peace of mind, if you allow those things to happen. However, protecting yourself from the effects of alcoholism is not something you can do by only changing your posture. No, you are going to have to learn how to cope with an alcoholic.
A great place to learn how to make positive changes in your life is through participating in alcoholism support group meetings. As you gain from the wisdom of people who understand alcoholism, you will gradually grow stronger and stronger. This is something that takes time.
- You are going to need to learn how to not let an alcoholic’s negative opinions of you weigh you down.
- It’s going to be necessary to learn how to set boundaries with an alcoholic to protect your emotions.
- A few lessons in how to not obsess over an alcoholic are going to be necessary.
- You will find great freedom in learning how to let go of an alcoholic.
- There are things that can help you heal from feeling rejected by an alcoholic.
Recovering from the effects of someones alcoholism is a process that brings a never-ending stream of good into our lives. You are entitled to live a happy, joyous and free life.
A decent life can begin for you today by understanding that you are not the reason the alcoholic drinks. You cannot cure their drinking problem. You are not able to control what the choose to do either.
Changes in life can start today by realizing that you are not responsible for them. The only person you are responsible for is yourself. This means that you are not responsible to make another person happy and your happiness is not dependent upon how another person treats you.
To be totally honest, your happiness will be discovered in learning how to love yourself. When we stop letting the false perceptions and accusations of others wear us down, we will love ourselves more. What another person thinks of me can have no effect if I recognize that what they are saying is not true.
This is how to overcome what an alcoholic thinks about us. We simply find the truth for ourselves and ignore the lies they throw our way. You are a good person and do deserve to live a happy, healthy, free and decent life today and every day for that matter.
So put your chin up, assume the upright position, shoulders back and get that list started for making changes in your life today. Today can be the first day of the rest of your decent life.
May I suggest that the first thing on your list be finding a support group meeting for friends and family members of alcoholics? Then, give yourself permission to go to a meeting. You will find help and friendships that you have needed for a long time if you do. Now, have a nice day unless you have made other plans.
I am happy I found this website. The information seems so “right-on” and make so much sense. Is this a site that is approved by the AA principles? Just wondering..
Go to Alanon for help for yourself. Then get out. I didn’t because I thought things were not bad enough. Another woman who started Alanon the same time I did got a divorce. She is doing great and I am miserable, depresed, on meds. I’m 67 and I think I’m too old, but if things go this way, I will die young from unhappiness and stress. My husband drinks less, but the selfishness of the alcoholic is still there making my life very lonely. Things just get worse and you will hate him and yourself.
Thanks Mary, for sharing. I’m a 55 year old women in a 33 year marriage with alcoholic. In those 33 years I have left twice. this last time was gone for a year, but got sucker back with his words. Searching myself why I keep leaving and letting this happen.? They only care about themselves. My year away was great, felt I lived. They want us to believe we can’t do without them. That’s how they keep us feeling trapped. You can live also, believe in yourself. I also need to do that. My heart is with you……Take care of yourself…..
Mary:
I have divorced but now am feeling the depression. I did not have that while married but maybe I did and did not realize it. Can you expand on that for me? It might help me shed some light on my depression–I keep wondering why my A ended up committing adultery (which ultimately made me file for divorce)–did I do something to cause this? That is where mine is coming from. Can you help me by expanding on the depression you are feeling–it might help me also. You also mentioned your A is drinking less but the selfishness is worse. Can you explain? Thank you.
[…] JC: Guest Poster, thanks for sharing your situation with us. While reading, I was deeply touched by your words. I felt sadness as I empathized with how your love relationship with your spouse has dwindled into emptiness. So many of us who have relationships with alcoholics find ourselves being the caregiver rather than the romantic lover we once were. May I encourage you to make a list of all of the things you are grateful for relating to your husband. This is one of my favorite articles: How To Live A Decent Life With An Alcoholic . […]