Intelligent Alcoholic Husband In Denial

Article Submitted By: Kat
My is husband is a wonderful man, clever, witty and super intelligent but always wants to find something to worry about. I love him very much. However, he is an alcoholic in denial. His family has the strong gene,  I see this in  his mother and sister.

I have already been to hell and back. Most that know him, know he is gentle and so laid back it is almost unbelievable, but friends we spend a lot of time with abroad now know he has a problem.

One of these friends, interacts with a raging out of control alcoholic, 15 years dry. So they know the signs of addiction. My husband is not argumentative until he is drunk. He usually sleeps so that is not a big problem, but the problem is that he wakes up really early and then is drunk and tired by say 8pm. AM,he is usually suffering from a hang over (I think) and is extremely ratty and argumentative.

We had a wonderful day out with friends and he only had 2 cans, when we got home early evening our apartment smelt (I couldn’t smell it) and he launched off into a tirade AT ME, raising his voice and being really nasty. We had gone out in a hurry and not thrown away the two empty tins of meat and fish we had used for the picnic.

He was in such a paddy that I hit him hard on his arm with the spring onions he had thrown away. We made up but it is happening more and more. He has been for counseling about a related very bad police matter but refuses to talk to me. He had a really bad scooter crash last year and he says he wished he’d died.

He is in quite a lot of denial, after a row he doesn’t drink much and hates me ignoring him (which his mother used to do and I didn’t realize). So he doesn’t drink too much or hides it, it is easy to do it over here (India). He asks if it is OK to go to another area as he likes mooching as most men do, but he came back pissed AND on the scooter again. I am thinking of getting him on a chill pill which is easy to get here, it is a muscle relaxant, with his permission of course.

Comments please and don’t mince your words. Thanks.

JC: Kat, thanks for sharing some of your story with us. It’s obvious that you are not in denial about your husband’s alcoholism that’s wonderful. I’d suggest that when you do talk to him about getting on some medication to help him not drink that you make sure that he is totally sober. If you don’t, you may be in for a very rude response from him. How he reacts is his problem, not yours. Check out this video on how to communicate with an alcoholic. I also think that this one is appropriate as well:  How To Cope With An Angry Alcoholic.