Having lived with an angry alcoholic for several years, the violence levels were unpredictable. Gathering tools to help me deal with sudden outbursts of rage became one of my main goals. Here are a few ideas that will help you if you are living in an abusive situation.
Always Have an Overnight Bag Packed-The title here should tell you that there are times when you are going to have to remove yourself from the ever increasing intensity of a moment. When you see the alcoholic’s temperature starting to heat up it’s better to be prepared ahead of time to make an escape. Go to a friend or relative’s house, just get out of harm’s way.
Make Sure to Have Money Stashed Somewhere-If you do have to leave for a while you’re going to need a few dollars for food, gas or whatever.
Have Three Plans of Action-Perhaps you can just go into another room and lock the door. Maybe you can go for a walk in the neighborhood until the alcoholic cools off. Visit a neighbor or just get in the car and go for a ride. Just make sure that you have a couple of things in mind if violence begins to break out. Fits of rage can come so unexpectedly. The last thing you want is to get trapped in a very uncomfortable situation.
Outburst of Rage in Public Places-Listen, if you have to take a cab to get away from someone who will not stop harassing you in a public place, then do whatever it takes to separate yourself from an alcoholic who is having a problem with violence. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM HARM’S WAY!
A really good friend of mine used to say: “When you see that look in their eyes, RUN!”
There’s no reason to be the punching bag for an alcoholic. Have a plan, make a back-up plan and then make sure that there’s a third one too. If your decision is to continue to be involved in an alcoholic’s life who is having violence issues, then make sure you do everything that you can to avoid arguing with the alcoholic and get into a safe place when an outburst of anger begins.
You should never argue with an alcoholic!
On many occasions as I would be seeking, in a very non adversarial way, to remove myself from the presence of the angry alcoholic, I would get hit in the back of the head or pushed. Even at times, as I was walking into a room to find a safe get away, she would follow me into the room and punch me. Sadly, one night I knelt in the corner of the room where I was seeking to find safety and she began to kick me in the back.
The best help I can offer you is to learn all the techniques that you can to stop an argument before it begins. Learn how to avoid the violence that some alcoholic feed on. You can find a lot of help in places like Ala-non. By attending group meetings, you can learn how to live with and love an alcoholic who suffers from having outburst of rage and anger fits.