Just stop trying to find them and live your life. Sounds easy doesn’t it? When you’re chasing an alcoholic, it’s very much like trying to follow the wind all over town. Most of the time the person who has an addiction will be driven by trying to discover the next best place to find a drink or a good party?
In this article, I will reveal some key secrets that will help you with detaching from an alcoholic.
They were supposed to be at “Joes Grillin-N-Chillin” until 7:30, but then you discovered they went to “Will’s Honkey Tonk” because there was a super drink special happening there. By the time you got there, they had already left and went back home. You go to the house only to discover that they changed clothes freshened up and left again. Now you decide to call on the cell phone again, this time they finally answer; you find out that they went to a relative’s house to hang out and watch a movie. So, you decide to join them because they invited you and by the time you arrive, they have left to go get popcorn at the all night grocery. Two hours later the movie is over and they return with three other people. On the way to the store to get popcorn they decided to stop by the Gator Lounge because their good friend Lindsey was working there.
Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
Our emotions go bonkers when the problem drinker is going full blast in their addiction.
We call repeatedly on the cell phone, but they’ve turned it off.
We pace the floor until the carpet wears out.
The roller coaster of feelings we ride on goes up and down and causes us to get sick to our stomachs.
The mind kicks in and the flood of negative thoughts begins to take us into developing the worst possible case scenarios of what they are doing.
Learning how to stop chasing an alcoholic all over was one of the most difficult things for me to learn. After attending Al-anon for a while, letting go of the problem drinker was the most freeing thing I’d experienced in years.
Letting go of old patterns and habits was hard.
Here’s how you can stop chasing the addict around all of the time.
1) Discover the things that you used to really enjoy in life again. Spend time at the movies, go see a play, ride bicycles with friends, roller blade, or just go for a walk in the park. Do these things with a friend or two and forget completely about the alcoholic’s behavior in your life for a few hours.
2) Don’t allow them to rent space in your head.
3) Just go to sleep. There’s nothing that you can do about them not coming home. So, get in the bed and read a good book until you are snoring up a storm.
4) Turn the cell phone off and leave it off. Don’t even check your messages. This is all a part of letting go.
5) Stop getting in the car and driving all over town looking for them. Watch a movie instead or get on the phone and talk to a good friend until you calm down.
6) Talk to God about the situation. Pray and turn them over into His hands. His hands are seriously big enough to handle the alcoholic who is out on the town. You have no control over what they choose to do anyway. So, “let go and let God” deal with them. He knows exactly where they are and what they need.
All of these things combined will help break the habitual obsession with an alcoholic.
I’ll never forget the feelings of the frustration level boiling over as I would stew over the problem drinker being out on the town when they were supposed to be at home. The more I would chase the wind looking for them, the more aggravated and angry I would become.
If you want to stop chasing an Alcoholic, then you are going to have to do things differently. Listen, they are not going to change their behavior on account of what you think, do or don’t do. They only care about romancing the bottle. So, you’re going to have to learn how to stop obsessing over an alcoholic/addict. The best place that I know for you to begin learning is in the Al-anon program.