There are places that can help us overcome the fears that are bothering us in relation to the problem drinkers in our lives. An alcoholic friend or relative can create a series of events that disrupt every ones lives. Learning how to cope with the poor choices of another can occur through attending support group meetings on a regular basis.
Related things occur with all alcoholics that cause fear to be present in our lives. One day they may take a car for a spin while totally wasted. On another occasion they may speak of taking their own life while they are drunk. You may be fearful because they have a very violent temper. Whatever the case, there is a way for you to learn how to not live in fear because of the actions of an alcoholic.
Here are a few suggestions:
You have no control over their actions so don’t ever take anything that they do personal. Alcoholic’s behaviors are totally irrational and unrealistic. What ever they are doing towards you or blaming you about for certain is not your fault. NEVER DO GUILT! If they get mad at you and blame you for everything, it is not your fault. They are very sick people. We are the normal ones even though they want us to think that we are crazy.
Remove yourself from their presence when they are acting out in anger or being irrational. You can learn how to set boundaries with them by attending support group meetings for friends and family members of alcoholics. You can learn how to do this in love also.
If you are in danger because of a physically abusive alcoholic, get professional help right away. There are places all over that can provide sound consul for your situation. No one should be a door matte. Unacceptable behavior is just that unacceptable behavior. You do not have to accept being mistreated by anyone.
Never argue with an alcoholic. If you are not sure how to stop the craziness associated with having a relationship with a problem drinker, read this article on How to Quit Arguing With an Alcoholic.
By learning that you cannot control the choices of another person this will help you not have fear for them. If we can get to the point of trusting God to handle their situation this will be faith. The opposite of fear is faith. The twelve steps that are used in recovery programs are design to help people connect with God and find faith. Once we begin to see that a power greater than ourselves is helping, the fear of what an alcoholic is doing will begin to disappear. This is something that will take time for most of us to grasp, God helping us. He will meet us if we begin to seek for his help.
Overcoming the fear that is associated with dealing with an alcoholic is going to take time. The best way to get victory in this are is to attend support group meetings designed to help relatives or friends of problem drinkers. There are many other negative things that are related to associating with an alcoholic, these meetings will help you in many areas of your relationship with the alcoholic in your life.