There is a right time for everything. When we are coping with someone who gets intoxicated often, we must learn when it is a good time to talk and when it is not a good time. I had to learn how to avoid having serious talks during times when the alcoholic had been drinking.
What do I mean by serious conversations?
Well, anything that you would normally heat up into an argument is not good to talk about when they are drunk. Also, things like house payments, children’s college funds, in-laws, homeowners insurance or car insurance policies. How about taxes or even business related things being something that you may want to avoid talking about when they are wasted.
When they try to initiate a conversation that I do not want to talk about I say things like: “I don’t care to discuss that right now” or “let’s discuss that another time, OK?” Sometimes, I have to make a decision to NOT have a serious conversation with the alcoholic the following day when they were hungover. These are the types of decisions we must learn how to make when dealing with an alcoholic.
You wouldn’t try to have a serious talk with someone right after they got out of major surgery would you? The person who is smashed from drinking too much acts a lot like someone who is under the influence of anesthesia. When they are drunk and when they are hung over is not time to discuss the serious things in life.
Living with an alcoholic takes work on our part. If we want to enjoy life more and be happier, we are going to have to change many of the things we have been doing.
There thinking is not really clear when they are under the influence.
I also learned that talking about the serious things in life late at night was not such a good idea any time. That rule with me even applies if the alcoholic hasn’t been drinking. When we are tired, the end of the day is no time to try and discuss the children’s college fund or homeowners insurance policy.
I know it’s difficult to deal with an alcoholic. These communication skills I have just shared with you will help you a great deal to not argue with an alcoholic. When you use these techniques, I guarantee you that you will experience less irritation with your situation.