Video Transcription: Discussing Important Issues With An Alcoholic
Don’t talk about serious issues (or “concerns”) in life with the alcoholic when they’ve been drinking or when they’re really hangover. It took me a while to learn how to not do that. If you’ll follow these tips, I promise you, you’ll have more peace and serenity in your life. It’s pointless to have a serious conversation with an alcoholic when they’re drunk. A good friend of mine says, “You wouldn’t have a serious conversation with someone who just came out of surgery and where under an anesthetic, would you?” Well, why in the world do you think you could have a serious conversation with an alcoholic when they’re drunk or even when they’re really sober?
So here are your tips, if the alcoholic starts to initiate a conversation that involves serious life issues like paying the bills or paying college tuition for the children, and things of that nature, you can simply smile at them and say, “I don’t care to discuss that right now. Let’s revisit this tomorrow.” Say little things like that and it will help you to not getting into an argument in the moment and just be really frustrated while trying to do so.
The alcoholic is not really going to be able to communicate with you in an effective manner when they’re drunk or when they’re really hangover. So, just remember that, do everything that you can to avoid having those serious conversations with them. “I don’t care to discuss that right now; that’s your opinion; sorry if you feel that way”, use these little statements to help defuse the chance of getting into a big, major discussion and an argument.
Here’s another thing, don’t ever have a serious (or “major”) conversation with anyone when it’s late at night. Always wait for that in the morning time. That’s what I used to do. I would always wait for the mornings that I knew alcoholic wasn’t going to be under as much influence to the alcohol as they were the night before. Sometimes I would wait for several days after they were partying really hard to have a serious conversation (or “discussion) with them.
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How do you know when they are sober. I don’t live with my alcoholic. So I just don’t know if and when she is sober. All I know is her stories never add up day to day. Any advice out there????? Thanks and have a blessed day everyone.
Hi JC, my alcoholic husband, once started drinking, has no control over his alcohol consumption until he’s totally drunk. Aside from his work in the office, he has a part time job at night where he meet his clients at the bar. The problem is whenever he goes home, I always see a mark of make up and lipsticks on his shirt. Whenever I’m confronting him about it he’s always telling me he doesn’t know about it and that what he does is work. That makes me crazy and puzzled. How would I believe and trust him. He already betrayed me 2 yrs ago when I found out about his affair with other woman on his cellphone. This makes me sick. I can’t sleep well. I want to have peace of mind, but how can I do it when you see all these things. How can he be faithful?