Reader Sharing: Ben
I have posted here before. I need everyone’s feedback on this – on simply whether or not what I did was egregious or not.
My wife is a severe alcoholic. We have a 31/2 year old daughter. She drank beer during the pregnancy (albeit only a few a night that I knew of), and still drinks 3-6 24 pack cases per week of Bud Light while breast feeding and takes a couple of Benadryl before passing out at night because she “cant sleep.” She has done ALL this WHILE breast feeding.
A few weeks ago, she had given me the severe silent treatment a few days in a row, with the only communication being yelling and swearing at me to leave her alone or leave the house. On Friday, February 22nd, I saw two cases of beer in the garage and knew she was home for three days that weekend…I saw a bender coming. She was home drinking all day, starting at 9:30 a.m. I knew she would want me to pick up our daughter from Kindercare that night, but her drinking has gotten worse and she has been drinking and driving with our daughter lately.
So I called the police department earlier that day and talked to them about having her arrested. I went to the Kindercare and talked to them about her showing up drunk to pick up our daughter and that the PD would need a few minutes to respond. I watched and waited for her to leave the house at 5:30 pm on her way to Kindercare and I called the police. The director at Kindercare and the teacher had made a plan that if the teacher smelled the alcohol, she would give a “thumbs up” signal to the director for her to call the police. This occurred.
My wife was arrested for suspicion of DUI, her car impounded, etc. She blew a .077 and was not charged. Since then she has been awful to me. I was trying to create a bottom for her and get her to face consequences, but I have been, just like in other instances like this made out to be crazy, a lunatic, etc.
She didnt work for a month and stayed home and drank non stop. She went on vacation to her fellow alcoholic brother’s house who pumped her full of “who would do that to somebody? he totally set you up.”
So did I? was what I did wrong? It was not easy to do. I love her at some level, but this insanity must end. My daughter had to have all her top front teeth pulled due to decay from breast feeding and alcohol all night long. I had to go out of town for work the following week…who would have picked up Olivia? a drunk? How can her brother claim to love my daughter, but condone her being driven around by a drunk? How could anyone?
JC: Ben, thanks for sharing. I think you did the right thing. The safety of your daughter certainly takes priority over allowing your wife to drive around drunk in the car with her. I am looking forward to hearing from some of our readers on this one.