Guest Post By: Pat
I am having a horrible time with anxiety. My ex alcoholic girlfriend of 4 years filed for joint custody/visitation of my 4 kids and hired a lawyer. Fortunately, we haven’t lived together in a few years, but she was here a lot. The fight that led to the demise of the relationship was because I needed her to sit with my kids (all under 5 years old) so I could take my mom to the ER. She was “too busy” with her drinking buddy, so I took all of them with me. I was angry and didn’t speak to her for a week.
While my mom was in the hospital for pneumonia my ex girlfriend went and filed, behind my back. She has retained a lawyer, her alcoholic friend lent her the money. So, I have now hired a lawyer at $350/hr. Last June, in my attempts to make her happy, I put her name on my son’s birth certificate. The hospital told us unless we were married we couldn’t do it. So, I lied and told them we were married.
She became very close to my sitter, to the point they talk daily. I warned my sitter when this happened to not get in the middle. There have been several breaches in confidence over the last few months. Yesterday was the last straw, when something I told only my babysitter came back to me via my ex within 8 hours! I now have to tell the sitter she is done, I told her to take the week off I needed to think but I already know the answer.
My ex is posting all kinds of mean statements about me on Facebook, accusing me and blaming me for all of this. She has blocked my phone and Facebook, but mutual friends have informed me. My major issue with her seeing the kids is the company she keeps-drug addicts, felons, and alcoholics. When we were together, I told her repeatedly I did not want these people around my children, yet she totally disregarded me and did what she wanted. God is good and I know He is there for me. My kids are doing well over all.
JC: An attorney at $350 an hour should be able to help you with this one really quickly. I have to wonder if she is requesting that you pay for her legal fees? In my experience, the alcoholic I was in a legal situation with had demonstrated such insane behavior that the legal fees on my end went through the roof. Hopefully you can settle the matter quickly, without going to court. Even though you have retained legal counsel, learn all that you can about this situation. If you have any one else in your life who knows a lot about legal things, get their opinion on every course of action that your lawyer wants to take.
Remember that God knows the end before the beginning. Rest in Him and pray a lot. The closer you stay to Him the less anxiety you will experience. Rest in knowing He is present with you, right now!