I finally finished divorcing my alcoholic husband after a 15 year marriage when I hit my breaking point–he abandoned me when I was told I have a more severe health problem than was previously thought. He continued to stay in the home for 9 months, not contributing financially, making verbal threats to me and using prostitutes, escorts, phone (s*x)chat lines, dating other women.
Now he is finally out and I need to heal, but my brain wants some answers to put this to rest and move on.
I never saw him drunk but saw that he hid alcohol in the garage and other places. He never admitted to me that he would drink and drive, but during the 9 months, I confirmed some regular drinking during the day followed by him going out.
Since his departure, he has tried to return and found I changed the locks and he called the police on me. He had my mail forwarded along with his causing me to spend 2 days trying to track down mail, bills, etc.
Is this normal for an alcoholic or am I dealing with something else? (since I did not see him drink to the excess of others I read the posts on)
Can I expect this harassment to continue?
I am now finding out everything he said about himself and his family history over the years was just one lie after another. Do alcoholics lie about past events from even their childhood or time before they met you? And if so why? If it has no use for the current relationship.
He poisons my name to everyone and now is telling people he was the one abused. How do I not let this bother me? How do you stop contact with others that like to share this information with you – I don’t want to hear any more? I have cut everyone out of my life that were mutual friends & contacts but during the 9 months, I would hear him on the phone talking very loudly so I would hear things he was saying about me or telling other women how he loved them. Sometimes it seemed the timing was too perfect (just as I would walk in the door). Could he have staged these phone calls or talking to a “dead” phone? Would alcoholics go this far when they realize you are leaving them?
How is he so cunning to think of all these dirty tricks?
Hoping somewhere out there, there are others who were married to a functional alcoholic that can shed some light on the issues I now face as I try to repair the damage and move on so I do not let it forever change the way I deal with people in the future.