Transcription: Dealing With Alcoholics Who Are Not Dependable
I want to talk about the importance of having an alternate plan. Expectations only lead to resentments. When I was with the alcoholic, we would make plans and oftentimes the alcoholic would either show up really late to those plans or wouldn’t show up at all. This always left me feeling lonely, frustrated, abandoned, rejected, and in a very confrontational mood. I would then confront the alcoholic and often times we would get in to a big blow-out argument. Afterwards, my mind would just replay what had just happened over and over. Sometimes for days, I would have no peace and serenity every time this sort of scenario would play out.
Can you see the importance of having an alternate plan? Also, can you see the importance of learning how to let go of outcomes especially when it has something to do with the alcoholic?
Alcoholics have the tendency to say things to us that they think we want to hear in the moment. So sometimes, they will make plans to us and deep down inside they have no intention of carrying through with those plans. They just say it to smooth things over in the moment.
If we can learn to not have expectations with the alcoholic, and if we can learn how to let go of them when they don’t show up for the plans that they made and if we can carry through with an alternate plan, there’s a good possibility that we’ll enjoy more happiness in our life.
Here’s the other thing, if we can learn how to not confront the alcoholic about how they didn’t follow through with the plans that they had made, we will have more peace and serenity in our life. If we could let go of the situation altogether, don’t even mention it to the alcoholic whenever we’re around them again and just know that we had a wonderful time doing our plan B (we will have be happier).
The plan B can be done with a friend or you carry it out by yourself. These things are not difficult to do but these are the necessary things that we have to do when we’re coping with an alcoholic especially one that has the dominant characteristic of breaking plans. There are a few good tips for you that will help you learn how to deal with this plan breaking that we find when interacting with an alcoholic.