The following story was submitted by one of our faithful participants. Her husband has spent years attempting to overcome an addiction to alcohol. This last time, as she was hoping he would achieve long term sobriety, he decided to end the marriage.
Please, please reach out to her with encouraging words in the comments are below the article.
Guest Post From: Ross
We have been married for 23 yrs and engaged two on top of that. We always were proud that we made it so far .This relapse here is something else. I lose track of how many he has had. I have posted comments before and my situations may sound familiar.
I received the divorce papers today. It is unreal. I never wanted this to happen. After all the ‘working with him’ that I’ve done, it has been as if it was all for nothing. I never thought it would come to this.
I couldn’t let him move home, because his prior actions leading up to his brief sobriety (3-4 wks, and 3 AA meetings), left me feeling like he was doing the least he could get by with to move home. I am imagining him gloating over ‘filing’. As if his reason was that he had to.
I’m not saying I ever handled everything perfectly. But I sure have tried. I needed something to work with. I needed to see a longer period of time of sobriety because the damages over his relapses were too great for me to bury my head in the sand.
I wonder if I was wrong in waiting/expecting a little while longer to see if he was for real? I was just so burned out. I know this is hurting my teenager and 23 yr old daughter.
I am taking things one day at a time. It’s all I could do for over a year. I wanted all these problems to go away. I wanted the sweet guy that I thought he was to prevail and help save our marriage. I cant believe I’m gong to be divorced.
JC:Thanks Ross, I was struck with sorrow the moment I read your story. I know this pain all to well. I have healed and you will too. I was told by a very wise lady: “God knows the end before the beginning.” I was told by another wise friend: “be prepared, the alcoholic will replace you, probably pretty fast because that’s just what they do.” Her words came to fruition within two months after we separated. An older gentleman, who I esteem highly said: “hire a good attorney and let them take care of things; don’t worry about it.” Someone else said: “your divorced needs to be handled like a business deal, leave your emotions out of it.” Ross, please heed to the wise words I have shared with you. I promise you they will strengthen you during this difficult time. Finally, another friend shared with me that we never know what the future holds, it’s possible that remarriage to this same man could be in the plan of things.