Submitted By: Karen
I left my alcoholic husband last May, after another terrible outburst by him on the day my family arrived from the UK. My adult son an I now live in apartment and are happy there. However, my husband is still drinking, despite being in jail for 30 days, despite 4 different times in rehab and various hospital stays. He says I am the only one that listens to him, his only friend. I feel I need to go cold turkey and stop talking with him as it is starting to bring me down again. He is 63 I am 60 this year, our son is 21. My husband says we are at the end of life and old. I don’t think that way, I have plans, dreams etc. I just feel he is still pulling me down. He has so many issues, all brought about by drinking. I feel responsible for him. I believe that letting him go and not talking will be the best thing, although I worry about the consequences. Any thoughts. Thanks
JC: Karen, I’m guessing that you are still married and hoping for the alcoholic to change. I totally agree with you, live your life to the full, even if the alcoholic chooses to not live a full life with you. If I were in your situation, my morals about being faithful to my marriage vows would still be strong though. I don’t think that I could be married and have an “open relationship” agreement with my alcoholic spouse. I wonder if you could explain a little more about how your husband is pulling you down. It seems like learning how to detach from your alcoholic husband is the key to not being pulled down by him.
Hi Karen, I’m sorry for all that you’ve been through.I can understand how you feel to a degree because I am married to an alcoholic and have been living separate for over a year.It can pull you down.I don’t know if you have tried Al-Anon by now or not.If not, it would do you well to attend.I have been married for 23 yrs. and my husband traded me for his alcohol.I love going to AL-ANON.because it offers me tools, etc.. to deal with how my life has been affected and so many things.Whether you are currently attending of plan to, I ‘ll say a prayer for you.