This will help to keep them from getting depressed when they drink alcohol, if it’s at all possible to get a friend who is drinking too much to slow down. It is the excessive behavior of consuming too much that increases the negative feelings. Encourage them to start living a different lifestyle as often as you can. Do this in love though and without nagging.
One of my closest buddies would get really down in the dumps when he would drink a lot. It always seemed as though the entire world was against him from his point of view once he got a few alcoholic beverages in him. When we would see him grab twelve of his favorite brand from the store we always knew that it was going to be a long night. Once he would start, there was really no way of getting him to quit. This is all a part of our teachings about understanding an alcoholics mind. As the twelve cans of Bud would dwindle down so would his attitude. By the end of the night he was usually mad at someone for hurting his feelings. People in general didn’t treat him very nice.
The best thing that ever happened to him was when he moved several miles away from the party crowd and decided to stop drinking. I’ll never forget how little he got depressed during those times that we spent together. Alcohol is a natural depressant. When people who are already having difficulties in life top their problems off with alcohol-the depression increases tremendously.
Communication is the key. Here’s a great video: How To Communicate With Alcoholics. It’s important to try and reason with them when they have not been drinking. This is a great time to make the suggestions that that perhaps they should consider taking a break from the alcohol. If I was going to approach my friend, I would say something like this: “Bill, you know I’ve noticed something whenever you have too much to drink, you seem to get really depressed and angry about a lot of things. Have you ever noticed this?” Be sure to let them know that you love them very much and are talking to them because you value their friendship.
Never discuss important things with them when they have had too much alcohol. An alcoholic will get very defensive and sometimes downright angry when you try to talk to them about their drinking problem when they are drunk. Your ideas will be better received and more helpful when they are not depressed from having too much to drink. Remember everything that you suggest must be out of love. You may want to read: My Friend Is An Alcoholic-What Can I Do?
The most helpful thing that you can do is continue to express your love and concern to them. If they don’t get the understanding of the importance of what you are observing continue to offer ideas that will help your friend to stop drinking.
Don’t get discouraged or angry; just keep being the best friend that you can be to them. An alcoholic lives in a world of denial. They don’t really see their drinking problem connected with being depressed sometimes. Maybe they understand it, but because of their denial they are consumed with, they will not admit that they have a drinking problem or a battle with depression going on.
In some cases it may be necessary to learn about how to have tough love with an alcoholic.
Just as a recap of the helpful things that you can do for a friend who is drinking too much and getting depressed.
1) Love is the key to helping them. They must know that you care and love them very much.
2) Communication is the key to helping an alcoholic. Your suggestions should not be made in such a way as to try to manipulate them or control them in any way. Just let them be suggestions not demands. Get them to think about their life when they are drinking alcohol and how they get depressed during those times.
3) Make suggestions of them about changing friends and their lifestyle. There are many programs that will offer helpful ideas for the problem drinker to be able to quit drinking. AA is one of the best ones around.
4) Try not to discuss the issue while they are under the influence of alcohol. This usually just ends in an argument because they will take it as a personal down fall and get even more depressed.
Just love them and be the best friend that you can possibly be to the alcoholic in your life. This certainly will help them from getting depressed whenever you are around. Keep gently nudging them towards getting help for their problem and do this with lots of love and genuine concern.
One of the most beneficial things you can do is prepare for when an alcoholic hits bottom. There are great support groups programs that can help you prepare. Al-anon really works and there are millions of people who attend this program all over the world.
I also have an alcholic, depressed friend, and it is so hard to communicate with him. HE talks to me about it, but he doesn’t want my opinions . its hard… especially since he’s my boyfriend 🙁
Hey Marlana, did you read the part in the article about reasoning with people who are drunk?
Look for sober moments to discuss things with your friend. You wouldn’t try to talk to someone about serious life events right after they came out of major surgery, right? Why not? Because they would be under the affects of the anesthetic.
It’s the same way when someone is drunk. You cannot reason with anyone who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.