This is going to be an amazing eye opening article. The biggest problem that I had with the alcoholic was my inability to not obsess over everything they were doing. In my mind, somehow, I thought that they were responsible for my happiness.
The truth is that there is no way that anyone can make us happy other than God and us. It’s an inside job that has to be done in a spiritual manner. To be able to live at peace with yourself is an amazing accomplishment; if you can do it while living with an alcoholic.
• Stop looking to the alcoholic in your life to make you happy.
• Find things to do without that problem drinker being a part of the enjoyable activities.
• Begin to carve a life of your own apart from the enmeshed life that you have created with the addict in your life.
• Buy a bike, get some roller blades, purchase Guitar Hero, or read a good book when you are obsessing over the alcoholics activities in your life. Do whatever you can to get your crazy mind off of what they are doing and onto something enjoyable. Do anything it takes, except cheat on them.
• Learn to live again. What happened to the happy person that you used to be anyway? Where did you go? Come back!
• Stop analyzing them every second of all the moments in a day. Do this by talking to friends who understand what you are dealing with. Those types of friends can only be found in support groups for people coping with active drinkers.
So that’s how I learned to deal with the biggest problem that I had with the person who was constantly drinking alcohol in my life. I just began to learn ways of not focusing on what they were doing all of the time. Living with an alcoholic is really too much for most of us.
Bearing this in mind, we need to understand that we must get help and do it sooner than later. There are literally thousands if not millions of places to receive help in dealing with anyone who needs to stop drinking alcohol on a daily basis. By getting into a support group you will begin learning how to enjoy life and still be able to live with an alcoholic.
This issue of always wondering what the alcoholic is up to is one that is a common thread among many of the people who I have interacted with in my life of attending therapy group meetings, which incidental has only been about seven years now. Regardless of how long I have been involved in a program for the family members or friends of alcoholics, I started learning the moment I attended my first meeting.
I’m telling you right now that joining some sort of fellowship that focuses on teaching us how to recover from living with or interacting with an alcoholic is extremely important. If we are going to learn how to live and love again, then we must learn from people who have concurred life while living with a problem drinker. You can learn how to be strong when alcoholism is in your life.
If your biggest problem with the active alcoholic in your life is constantly worrying about their behavior, then take my advice and start living your life apart from what they are doing. This does not mean that if they are a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse that you must sever the relationship. No, I am talking about living, loving and enjoying life while still having a relationship with them. It’s possible… you know? Just because the are addicted to alcohol this does not mean in any way you cannot have fun in life.
If you are in an abusive situation, then consider getting out from underneath their thumb before someone gets seriously hurt or possibly killed. Some situations are near impossible to live in. Especially when you are living with an angry alcoholic.