Blame it on alcoholism. Why? Before I had become an alcoholic everything was just fine with the relationship with one of my relatives. After the pain of a divorce and the death of my mother, I lost yet a third relationship. This one happened because of my choice to consume the deadly addictive substance that causes us to get drunk.
As I look back on things now, there are many poor choices that I made, but now that I am sober the life I live is much better than before. With the exception of having to accept the consequences of my actions.
Self-pity caused me to play the blame game and point too many fingers at one individual. This seems to be one of the attributes of many alcoholics. Everything in their lives is someone else’s fault. Very rarely do they take responsibility for their own actions in life.
In the height of my pain is where I damaged a relationship to the point of ten years later the person still will not talk to me. I did not do anything that was illegal in the natural realm, but broke many laws in the spiritual realm. I cursed this person out and said things about them in anger that should have never been said. Once spoken the lasting affect of those words still haunts me today.
They say that the two weapons that alcoholics use are anger and anxiety. This was true in this relationship that I personally played a major roll in disrupting. If I had only done this or if I had not done that. The truth be known, since being sober now for over ten years, I have tried several times to mend things with this individual. Now the ball is in their court and they are choosing to not let go of the past hurts that they constantly are dealing with.
Unfortunately they put me in a bottle as a horrible person ten years ago, labeled me as poison and then placed me on a shelf. Now years later, the old person has been made totally new by the power of God and the help pf AA and Al-anon. My sobriety has stood the test of time and the development of beautiful character is being seen by many who are my friends.
Even though alcoholism destroyed this very important relationship in my life, I still believe that God is building a bridge over the sea of confusion and separation. The important thing that I must remember is that God wants us all to love one another. Keeping this in mind, He wants to restore the broken relationships in my life. I remain hopeful that one day in this life there will be restoration. I do however, look forward to the day when I will dance on streets of gold with this person, for all eternity, who is still rejecting me in every sense of the word.
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