Understanding Selfish Alcoholics

Why must they be so selfish? Is this behavior common among most alcoholics? Is getting drunk more important than anything or anyone to them? Do they really want to be so selfish or is it just because they are addicted to a substance?

For many of us these questions probably have a few curse words mixed in with the sentences because we are so angry with the problem drinker in our lives.

We grit our teeth, kick the tree, slam the car door and the phone when we are mad at them. Sometimes we even throw the phone or whatever we have in our hand at the moment the alcoholic acts so self-centered.

Understanding why an alcoholic lies, why they stand us up and why a drink is more important than the family plans, may be impossible. Your answers will be found in acceptance.

Let me turn this in a different direction.

If you can understand why your alcoholic spouse, child, parent, friend or co-worker is so selfish, will it make a hill of beans of a difference?

Do you think for a moment that by understanding why they treat the dog better than they treat you that this will make them quit drinking?

If you can figure out what makes them act this way will you feel more loved by them?

By chance, will you be more at peace if you can get the satisfaction of knowing what is really making them act this way?

Let me make this really simple to understand.

Alcoholics are just selfish, now read on…In AA, it’s said that alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful.

They are addicted to a substance that has commandeered their minds. That’s why many alcoholics drink in the morning. All they can think about is where they will get the next drink from. It’s a physical craving that the mind will not let loose of. If you’ve ever wondered what goes on in the mind of an addict, it’s a constant obsession to get the next drink.

Now, with that being said, you should have an understanding of why an alcoholic is so selfish.

Your only option is to accept the fact that this is an attribute of the personality of alcoholism. Once you have an understanding that nothing you say or do is going to change their selfishness, the less expectations you will have.

Here’s how it works!

When we stop expecting the alcoholic to act a certain way that they are not capable of doing because of their constant obsession to get a drink, we will have less disappointments and resentments to deal with. Stop fighting a battle that you will never win and just accept that a drink of alcohol is more important to an alcoholic than their business, children, husband, wife or job.

8 comments to Understanding Selfish Alcoholics

  • Charles

    hello. I currently live with someone almost certain is either an alcoholic narcissist or simply a selfish alcoholic. I am her room mate. she treats me as if I am a piece of property. She belittles me publicly and privately in front of my friends and in front of her friends and even on the phone with people I don’t even know. I do an overwhelming majority of the household chores. I stroke her ego whenever she wants it. She openly tells others that I don’t do anything around the house and that I’m lazy. She also plays the victim with her long work hours. On average, I work more hours per week than she does and make less money. I also work varying shifts at my job, when she has the same schedule every day and every week. I am too poor to move out. I am stuck. I don’t know what else to do. I don’t even know if there’s anywhere for me to turn for any assistance where I live. I live in Huntsville, Alabama. I have never in my life lived with such abuse. Had I had any inkling this situation would turn out this way, I would have never moved in with her. I just want to run away so fast and so far.

  • Johnny Nightrider

    Here’s what I have to say.MY POS brother drank our funds away everyday spending so much on booze and ciggs and he was going to pay it back.Well his wife came and got him and took him out of my home.I don’t any money for a few days.The last 4 days I been living on Water,Coca-cola,and a couple pieces of bread.Did he care.No.He has been in and out of treatment all his life.He is 45 and a loser POS.Yet he’s married and has a 18 month boy.He has 2 other children living with their grand-parents.All I know is if you choose to drink and not get help and keep drinking and verbally abusing me all your life.Than F&ck you and every other Alcoholic out there.It’s a ugly progressive deadly disease!!!

  • I have been divorced from my ex alcoholic husband for 12 years now and I still care about him, we are still friends,but I have never seen anyone so sad in my life. He will call me up cause he is lonely, I go running cause I am lonely, and when one of his buddies come around, he is done with me, not in a mean way, but it’s obvious and I think how sad is his life that he would be more happy being with someone of the same sex than of the opposite sex he only wants someone to drink with.

  • Joe Hoe

    SELFISH, SELF ABSORBED and SELF RIGHTOUS. I am an alcoholic sober 21 years, I had to stop going to AA meetings when I saw how the program was being used by the alcoholic to continue the disgusting life they had while drinking only now they are sober, don’t kid yourself, it does not end, I watch these low life disgruntled people use the fact that they are sober to Rob businesses from others, get divorces because the person that has been taking care of them for 30 years just doesn’t do it for them anymore, almost any type of cruel or selfish behavior is hidden by “well im sober today” well woopdy fucking doo you piece of shit, you just ruined someones life, but its ok because your sober? go get drunk you worthless pos. In 21 years ive watched some pretty bad behavior and always covered by the people in the AA program as something he needed to stay sober, what a crock a shit, Alcoholics and drug addicts are the most manipulative people on the planet, they took a program that was meant to correct the bad behavior and manipulate it for whatever dark or selfish thing they want, God help me to not return to the likes of these creeps.

  • darlene

    Joe Hoe you are right. I see the same things transpiring from AA but I’m not the alcoholic but in al-anon. and my husband put me to the side,asked me for a divorce because he thought getting rid of the very people that actually got him to were he is at today. The new found friends are his best buddies now and they support his new actions. It seems as if its a cult of non caring humans who only they count in this world. I am having a hard time with this new found selfishness. As long as I am in al-anon I’m good at the moment, But if I quit the cult I’m dammed. Its horrible that a person has to go and confess the same ole past every week when you want to move on to a sober life, so its called. It would be nice just to have a grown up relationship without all these people knowing your past and talking behind your back to everyone else in the group so they can tell their others and it goes back your spouse what you had to confess. Bullshit. Although I know the past is the past and you cant forget, but I would like to move on to a brighter future.

  • D Light

    I agree with this article about the daily drinker but what about the “let’s it build up, then needs to take the edge off once every few months, I can’t handle my emotions drinker?” Any thoughts. I see this person is extremely selfish too, it is all about them to justify,it’s ok to treat everyone like crap, it was ok to drink till I black out.

  • Tony

    I am going through this (again) with a long time alcoholic female friend. It is so painful and hard to deal with. She is my dearest friend, but she is so selfish, so mean spirited, so cold hearted in between bouts of sweetness.

    What’s worse, she was diagnosed with stage 3 liver disease in January 2017, yet she still drinks. Alcohol is more important to her than her own life, her children, her family and her friends. She can say whatever she wants regardless of how hurtful or brutely honest it may be, but try to do the same with her and that’s the end of the conversation. Lord help me Jesus.

  • […] we’ll take whatever is tossed our way. Same goes for family matters. In the depths of addiction, we alcoholic thinkers tend to be pretty selfish as we put ourselves first in most […]

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