If you are getting abused by an alcoholic there are some ways that you can avoid letting these behaviors continue to affect you. In this article, we will be looking at ways to set boundaries and how to protect yourself from the mental, physical and spiritual abusive behaviors that some problem drinkers have.
First off, if you are suffering from a high intensity situation where you are being physically taken advantage of and hurt, please find some local help in your community. No matter what, NO ONE has any right to physically hurt another human. It doesn’t matter what they think or say about your behavior, you should never be someone’s doormat. Al-anon is a great place to start learning how to handle the situation you are in differently.
Handling Verbal Abuse
If the person in your life is verbally abusing you by calling you names, constantly belittling you, or yelling at you, you have the right to tell them to stop treating you that way. It’s time to learn how to set boundaries with an alcoholic. There are several ways you can learn how to effectively do this. I suggest that you find an alcoholism support group meeting in your area today! Don’t wait for another moment. Just find one in your area and start attending. There are people who understand what you are going through or living in and they can help, but you have to make the phone call.
Please try the following suggestions “only” when the alcoholic is being verbally difficult. Keep in mind though that alcoholics try to keep us angry or anxious. No matter what you do they will probably get mad. It doesn’t matter though because you MUST start getting out of harm’s way. An alcoholics temper is so unpredictable. Always be ready to remove yourself from the room if things really start getting out of hand.
Here are a few suggestions:
-Ask them to stop raising their voice at you
-Tell them you would appreciate it if they would stop calling you names
-Refuse to argue. Fighting with an alcoholic accomplishes nothing.
-Tell them you do not care to discuss the matter at this moment, then wait until they are sober to address the situation again.
You have a right to leave an unpleasant situation momentarily or even permanently.
Try a few of these suggestions:
-Go into a different room, close and lock the door behind you.
-Tell them you are going out for a drive or walk to allow some time for things to settle down.
-Get involved in Al-anon and attend meetings
-It doesn’t really matter what you do, just get the heck out of there when things get really heated up.
I know this all sounds difficult to do, but you MUST realize that you are the only one who can change the way you are being treated. The alcoholic in your life is going to continue to drink, get drunk and be abusive in many different forms. It’s up to you to make some changes. By getting involved locally with an organization that can help you, you can begin to make these changes.
NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES
I wrote an article about when the pain of living with an alcoholic gets greater than the fear of leaving them that’s when change begins to happen.
The only way you are going to avoid getting abused is by getting out of the way of the abuse.
-Are being called degrading names?
-Are you being sexually mishandled?
-Do you get blamed for everything?
-Does it feel like you are walking on eggshells all of the time?
-Is someone using you as their punching bag?
-Have you been shoved by an alcoholic?
-Does it seem like you can do absolutely nothing to please the problem drinker?
If you answered yes to most of those questions, then you are most diffidently enmeshed in an abusive situation. The sooner you start detaching from an alcoholic the better off your life will be.
Please don’t let your embarrassment of the situation stop you from getting the help you need. I promise you, there are literally thousands of people in your community that understand the hurt and pain that you are going through. You have the ability to avoid letting the alcoholic continue to treat you this way. You just need a little help from people who know how to handle an abusive alcoholic.