JC: The following article was submitted by one of our readers. There are many things to consider with her boyfriend getting out of treatment. As I read, I thought it would be good for her to make a list of the good and not so good reasons why he should or should not live with her. I also find concern with these two statements; “Our relationship is not abusive at all” and “Yes, his addiction has caused hurt, mistrust and dishonesty”. Please feel free to comment below the article.
Guest Post: by Tammy
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over two years. He doesnt have a drinking problem, his d.o.c. is heroin. But nonetheless this website helps me greatly and no matter what the drug it’s all very similar. Here is my situation. My bf is in treatment and is doing 60 days, this is his third attempt and I am hoping he’s truly ready this time because he has lost everything (car, house, kids, his business etc. )His last treatment then the following relapse I choose to get my own place. We have lived together for all of the two years and his most recent clean time he lived at my new place also.
Our relationship is not abusive at all we are best friends and lovers and don’t want to be apart. Yes, his addiction has caused hurt, mistrust and dishonesty but no horror stories with us. We have a ton of history and known each other since we were 14 yrs old. He has asked if when he discharges from treatment if he can come back and we live together again. He has lost his house. I know he needs to start completely over and put his recovery first. I’m totally fine with what that takes. I am really grappling with this decision. I have not made up my mind yet but in the meantime asked him to write up a “plan” of what he is going to be doing to stay clean/sober. And I will do the same with my boundaries. The bottom line is..I will end the relationship completely if he relapses again no matter what. He knows this is his last chance….do I let him live back with me?
JC: Tammy, Nar-anon and Al-anon are places for you to consider participating so you can begin to make healthy choices and changes. Perhaps this article will help too: Warning Signs Of Abusive Relationships.