I am really big on people learning how to enjoy their lives again. Being involved with someone suffering from alcoholism can cause us to lose sight of who we are. We get so involved in everything that they are doing all of the time, we lose interest in things we really enjoy in life.
Does that sound familiar to you? Maybe this is the first time you have really thought about it. I know that I was shocked whenever I realized that I had totally lost sight of many of the things that I enjoyed doing because I was always so busy obsessing over the alcoholic in my life. It seemed like there was one storm after another to deal with all of the time.
What are the things in life that you really enjoy that you have lost track of due to someone you know having a drinking problem?
Right now would be a good time to write a few of them down and set a few goals to get back to the place in life where you can start having a little fun.
Here are a few of the things I enjoy:
- Playing the guitar and writing songs
- Reading books
- Walking with a friend or alone
- Building websites
- Making money
- Helping others
So, what does all of this have to do with getting help in dealing with an alcoholic? Well, first off, nothing that you or I say is going to make them quit drinking alcohol. So, why not start enjoying life a little again.
By rediscovering the things we love in life, it makes it a little easier to let go of many of the frustrations associated with an alcoholic.
A few words of caution:
Usually, as the alcoholic sees us making changes, they will try to do things to disrupt our plans. If they do, it’s a good idea to have a back-up plan. The psychology of making this work is in making up your mind to not fight with an alcoholic if they do ruin your plans. Predetermine in your mind that no matter what happens, you are going to have a good day, not matter what you are doing.
When we are interacting with people who are not in their right mind, we have to always be prepared for things to not always go the way we planned. I always have a good book or two on hand that I can grab anywhere at anytime. I love reading, so if the alcoholic screws things up for me, I can always use reading as my back-up plan.
The process of finding yourself again may take a while. We didn’t get involved in all of this mess overnight and we are not going to get back to healthy living overnight. It’s going to take a bit of work and determination on our part.
So that’s it, make a list of things that you enjoy and watch the storms in your life slowly being to disappear as you begin to cope with the effects of alcoholism in your life differently.