It took bad knees, an autistic grandson and a very grumpy old man for me to get out of denial and realize my husband was an alcoholic of over 42 years. My husband led a second life of daily drinking at a bar. His work hours were erratic and of course he lied about the time spent at a bar. He never exhibited obvious signs of alcoholism such as staggering or slurring of speech and he never missed a day at work. My only sign was his meanness and rage which got worse and worse. It took a church tour of Israel and a dynamic spiritual experience for me to see that something was very wrong at home.
Our group was at the shore of the sea of Galilee and at the rock where Jesus cooked fish for Peter. All the members of my tour went to the shore of the water to touch it but I held back because the pebbles on the ground leading to the shore were glistening with dew and I was afraid I would fall and injure my bad knees. I observed the famous rock and saw that people left scrolls of prayer requests in the porous surface of this rock. My grandson had just been diagnosed with autism and did not speak. I put in a prayer request that he would speak. I placed my hands on the rock and physically felt a vibration from God. I was in awe. I knew my prayer was answered, but I also knew I was taking something special home with me.
When I returned to the US, I called my daughter and she reported my grandson spoke for the first time.
My husband was worse then ever. I decided to follow him as he left his work place and he didn’t go home! I lost him in traffic that day. I tried another time and caught him at a bar. I finally woke up and realized he was an alcoholic. I read some books on alcoholism and he had most of the behavior symptoms. He made hundreds of silly excuses to get out of the house and drink. I knew God was with me and I prayed for guidance. I finally had the courage to confront him. I gave him the choice of our marriage or the bottle. He didn’t answer me. The next day he came to me shaking and said he would go to AA. A long bumpy road followed for the months to come but he eventually became sober and is still attending AA. Things are much better at home without the drinking but he has had a few slips. We both had to change behaviors and we are both still struggling with the effects left by 42 years of drinking, but it is now tolerable. My heart goes out to all of you who suffer from this awful disease.