JC: How can I convince a binge drinker that they have a problem with alcohol? Is a binge drinker an alcoholic if they only get drunk once per month? Is this a serious problem worth confronting in a loved one? I answer these questions throughout the article.
Article By: Angela
I am a newly wed, married on year. I am previously divorced and have four children, ages 4-12. When I met my current husband, I was so excited for my children, he is so good with them and loves them. Just what they needed given their own father is always too busy to see them.
We dated for a year and a half, and then got married, I was so excited. It wasn’t until we moved into a home together that I found out about the drinking. When we were dating he would drink at home on his own. I feel like I’m in over my head, I don’t drink at all, never have and I don’t know what’s normal.
My husband doesn’t drink very often, but when he does he drinks to the point that he can’t walk, or make sense. He drinks maybe once a month or less, but it is never just a few drinks. I don’t think this is ok, and have asked him not to.
As I read about your husband binge drinking, I was reminded of a readers article submission entitled Nice Guy Turns Out To Be An Alcoholic. There was a far amount of interaction from our readers in the comment section. Perhaps you will find a few ideas on how to handle your situation by reading their advice.
I teach my children that drinking is bad and causes too many problems. Also he can be so mean and beligerant when he is drunk, the neighbors have called the police before because he was asking their friends for smokes while they were having a party, he ended up in the back of the cruiser, so embarrasing. Luckily the kids weren’t home.
I have asked him to get help, but he says he isn’t an alcoholic and not doing anything wrong. He is the best when he is himself, but mean and withdrawn after a drinking bout, it lasts for days after he drinks. It’s a rollercoaster and I don’t how to explain it to my children. Every time he says he won’t do it again, and that he doesn’t even enjoy it at the time, but then it happens again. How can I convince him that this is a problem, and that he needs help?
Angela, It’s going to be near impossible to convince your husband he has a problem with binge drinking. At this point in the development of him “possibly” becoming an alcoholic you can only communicate to him your concerns. He may not think he has a drinking problem, but if he is truthful with himself, he cannot deny that he creates problems in the family when he does drink. All you can do is express your concern and then Learn How To Let Go Of An Alcoholic. The video below has a few good pointers in it on how to communicate with an alcoholic. Rule number one, never try to reason with him when he has been drinking. Avoid arguing with an alcoholic at all costs. I’d suggest you learn all that you can about dealing with a problem drinker through attending Al-anon meetings.