Teenage Girlfriend Love Of Her Life Drinking Alcohol

Banner 37 Audio LessonsFunt TodayThe following article was submitted by a teenager who has already broken up with her boyfriend. She believes he is an alcoholic. Her heart breaks as she watches the love of her life pursuing a relationship with alcohol. Please feel free to leave comments below the article.

Guest post by: Sarah
I am an eighteen year old soon-to-be college freshman. My ex boyfriend has a problem with his drinking. I would say he is an alcoholic. We broke up and now he has no future plans and assigns blame to me and his parents. I read this is all very common. It is heartbreaking to hear about and to have watched such a young and talented man throw away so many opportunities so he can drink with his buddies. We had a plan. He was going to move with me to where I am attending college. After trying to intervene with his parents on his drinking, we eventually just broke up. We contact each other minimally. Hearing from him recently though, he has no plan of where to live and work. He graduated with a 4 year college degree. He is flailing and tossing the people who love him the most aside. It breaks my heart to watch the love of my life love something so toxic for him so much, I am looking for some answers and for some peace.

8 comments to Teenage Girlfriend Love Of Her Life Drinking Alcohol

  • Kelly

    He must be willing to go to treatment. His mindset needs to change.
    Do not put your life on hold. Not your addiction.
    You will most likely not stay with him. Your life will get sucked out of you.
    If you do stay, you will end up more sick than him. More crazy than him.

  • Margie

    Your first response is right on..go live your life. He needs to get help.

    Good luck.

  • AM

    Sarah….. heart break knows no age limit. read my texts below. My heart is still breaking. Find a mantra or prayer that you can say every time you feel overwhelmed or anxiety. Wish I could meet you for coffee to share my story. The other night I listened to Céline Dion sing “My Heart Will GO On”….. really hurt after receiving a gift from my friend this past Christmas about Titanic.
    You and I and everyone who is affected by someone’s alcoholism need to have respect for oneself. They certainly don’t respect us. Can’t reform a drunk….. my Dad’s famous saying.
    Stay focused and don’t contact him. He needs to contact you. They lie, and cheat and blame everyone else for their mistakes….. big and small. Quick to criticize the rest of the world.
    There are a million fish in the see. Run fast away. I still love my friend dearly but only they can help themselves. Big hug to you. I will never get over what was done to me but I am going on. coping!

  • Amy

    I have lived this life for to many years, your young you have a college degree..RUN don’t walk and don’t look back, run like a house is on fire! Read all the posts on this site. As the disease of alcoholism progresses they get WORSE and will take you right down with them if you let them. The norm is co dependants and alcoholics/addicts go together like bread and butter. ((Alanon is a great program..)) Alcoholics are all the same they blame everyone else, they are manipulative, they justify etc they will suck the life right out of you …They don’t have relationships they take hostages as my husbands alcoholism has progressed he has become the meanest , most self centered person..they are sick toxic people.. they do toss everyone to the side and eventually they end up alone and YET even that doesn’t stop them, hasn’t stopped my husband…the bottle in the end is all they have and the denial is so strong they don’t even see it..

  • Jenn

    My heart is still breaking, too. And I still love him.
    But the hardest part – at least for me – has been getting over the emotional/mental part of loving an alcoholic.

    My guy was charming, romantic, funny, chivalrous, generous, kind, thoughtful, caring, gentle, smart, hard-working, respectful… and drank every single night.

    He was never abusive, never raised his voice to me, never cursed at me (and rarely around me)… but drank every single night.

    He had a great job, made good money, owned a nice house and a few cars and we took nice vacations… but he drank every single night.

    We talked about our future, we talked about marriage, kids, vacations, plans… it felt right, and beautiful.

    But in the end, I was pushed aside… because he wanted to drink every single night.

    Emotionally, I am still struggling. Should I have left sooner? Should I have kept quiet about his drinking? Was there something I could have done differently? Why was I not good enough? Does he even miss me? Did I matter at all? Why am I struggling with so much guilt? What if he ISN”T an alcoholic?

    I don’t know what to say that might help… but I do understand your hurt. I wouldn’t wish this hurt and confusion and heartache on anyone.

  • Holly

    It is true that we get sick living with an alcoholic not matter how nice they seem. It is a life of pain and depression not to mention shame. As long as the alcoholic blames others for their problems and refuses to get help, there is no way you can live in a happy healthy relationship with him. People only begin to heal once they take responsibility for their actions and acknowledge they have a drinking problem. It is tempting to want to rescue and “save” the person but they have to save themselves. This was my big mistake more than 20 years ago- thinking I could fix him. I have suffered extensively and had I to do it all over again, I would never have gotten together with an alcoholic. It’s a nightmare.

  • C

    Kelly’s response is excellent. Everyone has given accurate reasons for running from an alcoholic. They will get worse not better if they do not stop drinking and have a plan. I have seen several men in our community stop drinking – doctor’s orders. The alcohol will ruin their body, ruin relationships and end in disaster. Do not think you can change someone who is addicted to alcohol – they can stop and then relapse again and again.

  • Denise

    I am sitting at my kitchen table waiting for a storm to bring welcome relief from the heat. A wonderful cooling rain. Much like my life after 35 years of living with my AH. I wait for it ( a bout of “sneaky” drinking)to be over and a return to ” normalcy”,a cooling rain, if you will. I have learned through this wonderful website how to get through life on a daily basis. I have learned to pick my battles wisely and execute with utter diplomacy. Not to waiver, mean every word you say. Hold my head up high no matter what. Is there a feeling of utter despair at times? You bet there is. But I have chose to stay. Take each day at a time. As for the young lady who feels bad about the friend, well, I can only tell you I wish I would have had a crystal ball when I was 26! But you know what? I fell in love and I know he’s in there somewhere:) he told me this weekend how pretty I am and that he is glad that we are here together. Things have been good for the last month. I am taking every good moment I can because I smile more, I sleep better,I feel much,much better,I tell myself I can do this. If it takes day-dreaming than so-be-it. A very wise and graceful young woman has this quote on her Facebook.
    There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done.
    One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow,
    So today is the right day to love,believe, do, and mostly LIVE. DALAI LAMA

    Discover yourself, it is a wondrous place to be. Take Care Always Denise

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