JC: This article was submitted by one of our readers who is having problems with her boyfriend. Lauren says, “He needs to be sober and every article on this site says not to try and force that, but I have to.” Additionally she says, “I am sticking to my guns that he has to be sober or I won’t live here anymore. Why is this discouraged on this site? Whats the best course of action here…with the goal being his sobriety!”
Lauren, we are here to help you learn how to live with and love an alcoholic, not to discourage you from trying to aid in him getting sober. One of the main goals of this website is to expose the common characteristics found in alcoholics. Please click on the following links to find some information that can help become happier and healthier while living with an alcoholic.
- Your alcoholic boyfriend is placing blame on you.
- He is also lying as he promised to quit for life and changed his story.
- He is saying mean things to you that are upsetting you.
- You are setting an ultimatum that he has to get sober or you won’t continue living with him.
Guest Post By: Lauren
I started dating my boyfriend a year and a half ago. We were 24 and 29. We had a wonderful first year together. We’d drink, cook, make love. We then moved into a new apartment which was traumatic for him because he never had a stable home and the one he was leaving behind was the closest thing to. So in the 6 months that we’ve been at the new place, he’s been angry, mean, insulting–downright cruel. I am nothing but good to him, I know its not true, I know he doesn’t mean it.
Last month I moved in with my parents for a week, which resulted in him begging for me to come home and promising to get sober in order to make things work and to put a stop to the abuse he’d been inflicting on me. I moved home, we had a beautiful week together, catching up on cuddling and sex. But then last night he tells me that I am controlling, that I remind him of a mother figure, that he’s going to start drinking again and that I misinterpreted his promise to quit forever. That he just meant for a month. My options are to move home again or stay here and put up with the abuse.
I am torn because I don’t want to abandon him but I also can’t live like this. Also, regardless if I move home or not, I will still be in a relationship with him because I love him so much. Just don’t know what to do! He needs to be sober and every article on this site says not to try and force that, but I have to.
I am sticking to my guns that he has to be sober or I won’t live here anymore. Why is this discouraged on this site? Whats the best course of action here…with the goal being his sobriety.
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