Having been affected by alcoholism, what are some of your biggest concerns? Fear can come packaged in many different ways because alcoholics keep us anxious and angry on a regular basis.
Once Someone Stops Drinking, Will They Drink Again?
This was a great concern for me when my alcoholic spouse went into a twenty eight day program. Fearing the future seemed to be ever present in the back my mind. When a loved one decides to go into an alcohol treatment faultily, there is a flood of emotions we must deal with. This is why support group meetings for the family of alcoholics teach us to live one day at a time. If we stay present in the moment it is difficult to be afraid of the future. Worrying that someone will relapse doesn’t accomplish anything.
My Biggest Fear After The Relapse
When she decided to drink again, after staying clean for about two months, I wondered if she would just give up. Is this something that you worry about? I know that we have no control over their actions, but because we love the alcoholic in our lives, we always want the best for them. It troubled me that she would have a sense of hopelessness and feel like a total failure. She did feel hopeless and this caused her to drink with more passion than before she went into the twenty eight day program.
Taking Their Own Life
This is really tough to deal with, especially if they have tried it before. Do you worry that they may decide that life is not worth living any longer? In counseling secessions, I’ve learned that I must turn them over into the hands of God. If I don’t, this fear will drive me into a negative flurry of emotions.
My alcoholic spouse hit me on several occasions. She always did it when I least expected it too. This really became one of my biggest fears that she would hurt me. Have you been physically attacked by an alcoholic? Is this something that you are afraid of?
Fear of Them Driving While Drunk
I was forever hopeful that the alcoholic in my life would get stopped by the police. On many occasions she would be out late at night, driving while being intoxicated. Is this something that you are concerned about? Are you like me, wanting them to get caught and arrested for drunk driving?
What About Divorce
We have lots of dreams when we get married, but as the progression of alcoholism gets worse, we begin to fear that the marriage won’t last. This was most definitely one of my biggest concerns.
Will they Overdose?
It’s a horrible thought, but a fear that is very real. Alcohol poisoning is certainly nothing to take lightly. I never had this concern because the alcoholic in my life never pushed themselves very far over the limit. What about your alcoholic, do they drink way too much? Is the possibility of alcohol poisoning a concern of yours?
I guess the fear of an alcoholic getting cirrhosis of the Liver is a big concern for many. It’s a killer that should be respected, but unfortunately problem drinkers don’t really care about their health.
Those are some of my biggest concerns, perhaps you have some I haven’t touched on. Alcoholism in the family or within a friendship can cause many fears to develop inside of us. By attending support group meetings we can begin to recognize many of the fears that we have and learn how to overcome them.
I would love to hear about the things that concern you. As we share our problems with one another they get cut in half.
My biggest fear over my mum’s alcoholism is that she is killing herself and firtcould by before my 16th birthday through drinking and the other illnesses she has. I just want to say good night or give her a hug without the thought that it could be the last time i see her. I wantto be able to go to my friends houses without being worried that may not be there when i go home. I want to be able to have friends over and not have to worry about her scaring them off or embarrasing me by falling over. I want her to be there when i get married and to see her first grandchild all the things you want your mum to be there to see, to take a boyfriend home to meet her have her look disaproving and saying nice try. Through all the arguments i still love her she is still my mum and i don’t want to see her killing herself.
Alys, my mom got better and quit drinking for over twenty five years. Pray for her!
My fear was our marriage would end, and it has ended. I wanted to “rescue” him. He was once arrested for being “drunk in public” while walking down a busy street in the middle of the road. I like an idiot sat at the jail the next morning to take him home.
Another time he went with a friend to a bar. The friend went home, left him there. At 2:00 am I went looking for him around the neighborhood only to find him walking down the street with his face bashed in.
I love him, always will, but I resent him and his alcoholism.
Does anyone here feel like a third party is evolved in their marriage? My A husband does not talk to me like we use to. I feel like the outsider here. Thanks for leaving me share.
As a recovering alcoholic I wish I could explain the
insanity of this disease to you. When I am sober
you would not guess that I have this terrible problem.
Drinking is not an enjoyable thing for me like it
is for social drinkers . When I relapse its not that
I want to die but it’s more like I don’t know how to
live. It’s a very difficult multi level problem
and knowing how much disappointment and fest
it puts on your family is tragic. I hope someday
soon there is a cure for this because its so awful
for all involved. Especially the ones we harm
My biggest fear was the breakup of our relationship with my XAB. But with the breakup of our relationship with the second betrayal I no longer feel that kind of love for him. As the Heart song says, ” don’t you know the way love dies when you crucify its sole”. I im still grieved at the choice he has made but, his brain is so messed up to choose the woman he did when he knew who she was contrasted to the woman I am. It is over and I am moving on and it gets easier day by day. Someday, I will be glad I stood my ground.
Our alcoholic is our son. He lives with his brother in one of our houses that we rent to them. He has a 14 year son who stays there occasionally. Up until recently he would drink until he passed out in the garage. Now he leaves the door open exposing valuable equipment owned by his brother. He also has driven to his ex’s house intoxicated, a new habit. I worry about him forcing his son to ride in the car with him, and the loss of respect his son will now feel. Thinking about selling the house or ??? He is 36 years old and we have had enough. This website is amazing.
Our daughter is a binge drinking alcoholic. She is in the process of losing her job, home , etc through her drinking. She can go a week or so without a drink then needs a binge. She lies constantly and expects us to get her and sober her up when she’s had enough. She can’t do it herself. I picked her up tonight after a week of refusing to bring her to my house and she said she hadn’t had a drink and needed a bottle of wine to wean herself off for work on Monday after being off all last week The wine affected her really quick and turns out she had two litres of cider before I collected her. She had also had a bottle of wine before 8am. We are at the end of our tether. She has also driven when drunk. She has started cutting her arms. There doesn’t seem to be much help out there. The gp doesn’t do anything. It’s a roller coaster and we regularly feel like we have had a bereavement when she goes on a binge. We feel helpless. It’s affecting our whole family. It’s a struggle to get her to seek professional help.