JC: Shelly, thanks for sharing your story about the alcoholic in your life threatening to commit suicide. I can understand why you would be worried and unsettled about this matter. It is hard to disern what an active alcoholic might do when they are talking about ending their own life. Is there a law in your state where you can have him admitted to the hospital against his will if he is a threat to himself or others? In Fl. we have a mental health act referred to as The Baker Act.
Guest Post By: Shelly
The father of two of my children, my ex-husband called me to ask if he can sleep in his truck in my backyard. He is homeless and has not spoken to his kids in months. He thinks the girls should call him.
He has not been speaking to me because after years of just letting him pull his crap, I lost it and told him exactly what I thought of him.
I have gone out of my way not to speak badly of him in front of the girls. I wanted them to form their own opinion of him as they grew up, always hoping he would get it together by the time they were old enough to understand what he was doing.
He shows up looking like death and looking more defeated than I have ever seen him. He tells me he wants to commit suicide but does no have the nerve. After years of lies… I actually got worried when I looked into his eyes. Our oldest daughter rejected him and he just could not handle how far he had fallen.
He decided to go to a meeting. When he got back he was picked up by an alcoholic friend to go to an AA meeting who could not believe I was letting him sleep in his truck. I have tried for years to help him. (check out Being Kind To An Alcoholic)
My current husband has tried o give him work and help him because he loves my girls and wants them to be happy. He ended up stealing from us and them blaming us for all he problems. (see Why Do Alcoholics Steal?)
I want him to get help but do not want o get dragged back into the mess. I am scared he will kill himself, and cannot bear th thought of telling my girls he is dead. I know this is how it will probably go down but it still upsets me.
It also makes me angry that I am constantly having to clean up after him. I have to try to help the girls understand that it has nothing to do with them, I also have to deal with their anger, both with him and me for making him their father. I can’t win with anyone. I know of he decides to commit suicide it will not be my fault, but still cannot bear the thought. There is always the chance it is all a plan to suck me back in…..