My biggest fear when making myself vulnerable through doing romantic things for the alcohol is being rejected and unappreciated. Let me share a few ideas for expressing love to the addict in your life that can be romantic and do not necessarily involve having a lot of face-to-face contact with them.
Let me prepare you first, do things that are expressions of romance without any expectations, NONE! The things I am suggesting are SUPER thoughtful and kind, never forget that. No matter how the alcoholic reacts to your expressions of love, know that you have done the right thing. These are unselfish acts to be done with no expectations of anything in return.
Leave The Alcoholic Love Notes: I have a good friend of mine who has colored Post-it notes. He generally leaves the house in the morning before his wife wakes up. Very often he will write something nice that expresses his appreciation and love to her. She in response has started placing the notes all over the kitchen cabinets. Their kitchen has become abundantly noted with many kind words that have created an atmosphere of love for the two of them to enjoy.
These notes can be left anywhere, inside books, on bathroom mirrors, in a lunch bag or in the car.
When Taking A Shower: This has to be one of my all time favorite romantic ideas. As much as you’d probably like to pour freezing cold water over the shower curtain, consider sticking a towel in the dryer while the alcoholic is in the shower. When they finish, greet them with the warmth of your love through wrapping them in the warm towel.
By the way, pouring ice-cold water over the shower curtain can be romantically playful too. If your alcoholic is the playful type. Beware though, without a doubt they will retaliate when you least expect it. Rather than getting a small cold glass poured over you while showering, the alcoholic may dump an entire pitcher of ice-cold water over the rail.
A Container Full Of Daily Goodies: You can use any type of small container for this. Places like Marshall’s and Beall’s department stores have decorative boxes that are small enough to fit on top of the alcoholic’s desk. Purchase some decorative paper and tear off small portions that are large enough to contain the messages you want to write on them. Find popular quotes,Bible verses, daily thoughts and create your own original things. This is the perfect opportunity to share romantic thoughts, expressions of love, appreciation and sexy suggestions with the alcoholic. Fill the container with handwritten notes.
Surprise Them: Take a step toward surprising them with something. The essence of romance is found in there being no special occasion other than you were thinking about them. Give them flowers for no reason, store bought ones are great.
A close friend of mine told me that one of the most romantic things her husband ever did was stopped on the side of the road as they were traveling together and picked wild flowers for her. The funny side of his romantic expression is that it turned out he had an allergic reaction to the fragrance and started sneezing uncontrollably. They had to toss the bouquet, but still cherish the memory as one of the best romantic moments of their marriage.
Buy them a gift card so they can go on a shopping spree. Starbucks coffee, ice cream or Chinese food might be a good gift card choice for something the two of you could do together.
To help you be more loving, romantic and kind with the alcoholic, take time to write out a long list of good personality traits that the alcoholic has. Write down all of the things you appreciate about them. Keep your list in a safe place (I keep mine in my Google “Drive” account, where only I know the password and it’s totally free). Refer to your list periodically for renewed inspiration in the romance department.
It might be a good idea to search out romantic ideas on the Internet and make your own list of the ones you think would work in your relationship with the alcoholic. Just remember you may not receive much love back, but feel good about yourself for expressing your love to the alcoholic. They are sick with addiction and you are still in love with them. In the end, if things don’t work out, you will feel comfortable in your skin knowing you expressed your love to them.