In my life there have been several alcoholics that decided to stop drinking. What makes an addict make this decision? They say in addiction support group meetings that when the problem drinker finally hits bottom that’s when they quit.
That’s all fine, but what makes them get to that point. Is there really hope for the person who is addicted and cannot seem to go for a few hours in a day without having a drink?
One of the best places to get more hope for a situation like this is by attending alcoholism support group meetings. Places like AA are where you can here the experience, strength and “hope” from people who have been successful at quitting.
When We Stop Enabling
When the enabler quits providing everything that the addicted person wants and needs that is generally when they consider getting help. As longs as someone will provide for them by giving them a home to live in and money to spend, they will continue to live in their addiction. Generally, what makes an alcoholic quit drinking is tough love. There have been many books written on this subject.
The idea basically suggests that the sooner we stop rescuing them, the quicker they may get well. Things like bailing them out of jail, paying there rent and providing groceries has to stop. Anything that helps to contribute to them continuing to be comfortable in their addiction must cease. This is often said to be very difficult with children who are suffering from the disease of alcoholism.
Tough love works in a completely opposite manner of what we perceive as normal love. It’s a new way of loving the alcoholic. Instead of taking care of them because they are ill, we must let go of them to take care of themselves. Doing this type of thing requires a great amount of acceptance on our part. We must just accept them for exactly where they are in their lives and stop rescuing them all of the time. We also have to realize that nothing we have said or done up until this point has worked. So, why not give this “tough love” thing a try.
What helps to make an alcoholic stop drinking is allowing them to feel the consequences of their actions. They must be left to suffer on their own for a while. We must learn how to detach from the problem drinker.
Please understand this, nothing you or I do will make them quit drinking. An alcoholics behavior is totally unpredictable. Once they finally get sick and tiered of being sick and tiered, then there is a small chance that they will seek out help for their alcoholism problem.
It wasn’t until a good friend of mine got into a fight with someone who was twice his size that he finally hit bottom. He said that when he awoke the following morning that he called a friend to tell them that he wanted to get help and they directed him to AA. He stopped drinking after his first meeting and has remained sober for over eleven years. There is always hope for the hopeless, especially if we put the alcoholic in God’s hands.
When someone suffering from a drinking problem decides to stop drinking, it is their choice to do so. Even people who are court ordered to attend AA meetings don’t always quit. This type of judgment and court order has been beneficial in helping many alcoholics stop drinking though. If you attend a few Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, you will eventually here someone tell their story of how they were forced to participate in the program and that after attending a few meetings realized that they had a drinking problem.
In summary, here are the things I suggest:
-Get involved in an alcoholism support group meeting
-Let go of trying to control them and put them into God’s hands
-Get some literature on tough love
-Realize that nothing you have done to this point has worked