Article From: Rebecca
Dating men who hide their alcoholism has been the story of my life. It is very difficult to accept that so many men have these addictions and I must have dated them all. My husband passed when I was 23, leaving me with a 3yr old and a newborn. I knew he had hidden some things from me, but I had no one to run to and I knew he loved me. I could never prove he was cheating or using pills until his funeral. It’s crazy the stories people tell at funerals.
It took me a long time to date again, but over the past 7 yrs the people I’ve dated have all been very deceptive. They’ve hid pills or drinking habits and as soon as I saw the truth… they were gone.
Until I met this new guy. I met him and felt like he was everything my children and I prayed for. He has 2 daughters and was amazing with them and my kids. We dated and moved in together and after about 6 months I found beer cans hidden around the house. He said they were old? I wanted to believe him, but why hide them? He began coming home late and being distant and then wanting to make love. His mood swings drive me batty (see: How To Deal With An Alcoholic’s Mood Swings). I have never seen a grown man whine and cry and act as if it is everyone else’s fault that they drink.
Now I’m finding crushed pills on my bathroom counter. I grabbed my kids and headed to grandmas last night. He had promised to think about his ways and not do anything stupid to hurt himself. He texted me how he was sorry again for being verbally degrading (see: Being Abused By An Alcoholic) and that he was cleaning and would focus on improving himself while I was away.
He promised he would not drink or crush pills and that he would do better. He did not know that a storm had turned the kids and I around until we were in the driveway. Then all of the deception was right in front of me. He was drinking and snorting pills. He said he did pills to clean the house (which was not clean) and drank because he couldn’t sleep alone unless he drank.
He twists the truth and manipulates and then begs for me to just get past it. Then he promises to never do it again. But it never lasts more than 3 -4 days. I’m very tired of trying to hide his crap from my kids. Exhausted with of mind mind games. I’m tired of my kids not being able to live normal lives because I chose a manipulative ass to fall in love with. I’m tired of people hiding who they really are until they feel like you are stuck with them. I’m just tired.
Please feel free to leave a comment further down the page.
JC:Thanks for sharing your story Rebecca. I can understand that you are fed up with all the shenanigans. It’s difficult when we find ourselves between a rock and a hard place. The phrase I am about to share is a simple concept that is difficult to submit to at times; “change your attitude or change your address”. I am confident that our readers will jump in to offer their wisdom with you. Here are a few articles you may find some ideas in:
Deceived By An Alcoholic
How Do Alcoholics Manipulate People
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