JC,thank you for all that you do and for the great articles!
Hello All: My friend of 5o years has become an A. It was going on a very long time before any of her family/close friends were made aware, including myself. She was a high functioning A. What I want to know is if anyone has experience with a solitary drinker, who seems to be circling the drain, if you know what I mean. Now that we all know there is a serious problem, she has cut us all off from communication. She does not answer phone calls or texts for days, sometimes not at all. She gets angry because she says we are all talking and comparing notes. Well, we are because it’s the only way we can get a feel for what’s going on. She tells everyone a different story. It’s all lies. Once in a while someone gets a text or call, but it’s short. She does not answer her door when we knock. She slips up and sometimes answers the phone, even at 8 am, and we can hear her slurring her words and not making any sense. She is going to work, or so it seems, but she has been drinking upwards of the admitted 1/2 fifth tequila a day for at least a year, if not more. If she tries to cut back she gets DT’s. Signed into rehab and signed herself out after three days. Not attending AA meetings she says she is. She just gets home from work, locks herself in. Weekends too. Like the movie :lost weekend: We know she is in crisis but in denial. May be mixing antidepressants and alcohol. I’m afraid we’re going to find her dead. At first, we all rallied and tried to help. Now after reading this forum, we have withdrawn and decided to let her choose her path, as it was making us all crazy and ill and obsessed. We see her spiraling down the drain, and there’s nothing we can do. Any thoughts?
If you know she is mixing her antidepressants with her alcohol you maybe able to commit her into a hospital through a mental hygiene process if she is found to be a harm to herself. Every state and county within the state has different laws pertaining to the mental hygiene process. You can contact your local mental health facility and law enforcement agency to gain more information on how to complete the application process. The thing is she has to be a harm to herself or others (suicidal whether intentional/unintentional such as mixing her medications or homicidal.) However, a hospital placement is only a temporary crisis stabilization. They can only keep her for 7 to 14 days. If she is committed, it is mandatory that she has to stay that length of time. It would e better if she would go voluntarily but doesn’t sound like she has reached that point. Once she is released the hospital maybe able to place her in a rehab facility. At that point, it is up to her if she wants to obtain treatment. This is where it is most difficult, you want the person to get help. Hopefully though if she has been clean for a week or two she will want to go to rehab to help her maintain. If she returns home, the first thing she will want to do is get a drink. Ideally a 6 month program works better in my opinion, but hard for people with bills to pay to go to a facility for that length of time.
In my opinion, the law for each state need to crack down on driving citations. They are putting interlock systems into people’s cars now which helps somewhat, however ALL of these need to have video cameras installed to prevent family, friends, etc… from blowing for the individual. For some who are functional alcoholics and know that their livelihood depends on getting to work, they may think before they drink too much and loose their ability to drive. Law enforcement needs to crack down on those driving on suspension as well. Being stuck and unable to get anywhere to purchase alcohol or socialize is enough to make anyone stir crazy and think about their actions. Key is not to enable them. Don’t drive them or if you do, let it be know why. Make them take responsibility for their actions. Hard to do when you want to help. So hard, but do your best not to.
Thanks for all the tips! You have a great site here and shoudl be proud of how many of us you have helped. This site is what got me moving in the right direction to change my life and my childrens’ lives for the better.