How can you handle hanging out with dysfunctional friends who like to drink a lot? Alcoholics really don’t think much about relationships because their best friend is usually the liqueur or beer that they choose to drink. As long as they can get their fill for the day that’s enough to make them satisfied.
Spending time with a friend who likes to drink a lot can be a challenging task, especially if they get depressed when they drink too much. I remember staying up many nights with a guy who would get really down because of the way that a girl treated him. He was the most depressed alcoholic friend I’ve ever interacted with. Eventually he took his own life.
The easiest way that I have learned to deal with dysfunctional alcoholics is to just let them go and most of the things that they do that irritate me. The irritations only have as much power over my actions and reactions as I allow them to have over my life.
I have daily choices to make in relation to letting someone rent space in my head or not. Alcoholics will make fun of you, yell at you and sometimes be very abusive towards you. As much of the dysfunctional behavior that you can avoid, the better off you will be.
1) If they are mean to you, don’t take it personally that’s just something that many alcoholics do. Anger and anxiety are two of the main weapons that they use to get the focus off of themselves. They don’t even realize that is what they are doing, trying to get the focus off of their behavior so they can point the finger at you. Go here to learn How To Cope With An Angry Alcoholic.
2) Never allow them to rent space in your head. If you notice that you are constantly thinking about them and planning your life around what they are doing, stop it. Get a life of your own with or without them. There are much better things to ponder other than their dysfunctional behaviors.
3) Love them unconditionally. They are very sick with a disease called alcoholism. They really do not want to be the way that they are. What I am saying doesn’t mean that you should allow them to be abusive to you though. That’s another subject all together about setting boundaries.
4) Let go of them and let them live their own lives without your interference. If you try to control them, you will become just as dysfunctional as them. Let them go and let God have them. They are accountable to him and you are not their god. Trying To Control An Alcoholic never works.
Friends who drink alcohol are a lot of fun, but at the same time they can be a hand-full. That’s the thing about dealing with people who like to drink a lot, you never know how the evening is going to turn out. Just love them the way that you would want to be loved if you were in their shoes.
I always recommend that you find an Al-anon meeting too. This will greatly help you learn how to cope with an active drinker. It takes a lot of education to learn how to handle an alcoholic. Dysfunctional friendships can be good if you learn how to love unconditionally. The Al-anon program can teach you how to do that.