There are a few things like projecting the future that will cause us to live in fear when dealing with an alcoholic friend or relative. Constantly analyzing what the problem drinker is doing, has done and might do in the future, will keep you in a state of depression, frustration, and anxiety. One of the greatest things that you can learn is how to let go of the problem drinker by realizing that you really have no control over what they are doing.
Among all of the things that we struggle with, projecting negative outcomes is one of the biggest things that we wrestle with when living with an active alcoholic. Here is a little slogan that works for me; “don’t allow someone to rent space in your head.” We have to understand that there’s nothing that we can do to control the alcoholic, we cannot cure them and we did not cause them to be this way. Once we begin to really get this type of mind set it is easier to stop projecting negative things that may occur in a day related to dealing with active alcoholism.
Here are three ways that you can stop projecting the future:
1) Understand that you are only responsible for your behavior. Make choices every moment of the day to live in peace, serenity and joy. Learning how to do this will require that you attend support group meetings like Al-anon. Just reading articles or books is not going to be enough. Much of the process of getting peace and laughter back in your life depends upon interacting with others who have learned how to be happy while living with an alcoholic.
2) By establishing a relationship with God, you can get a greater understanding that He is working all things for the good for those who love him. As you begin to grow in a love relationship with the Lord, he will begin to do for you things that you could not do for yourself. As the recognition and awareness begins to happen that God actually cares greatly for you, you will then have more faith for today and less fear of tomorrow. This will help keep you from projecting the future.
3) Get your focus off of the alcoholic and start enjoying your life. The obsession of living with active alcoholism is just too much at times. Learn how to change your focus. Go to the movies, read a good book, or call friends. Do what ever you have to in order to get your mind off of the fears of tomorrow and start enjoying today. Remember, you have no control over what the alcoholic chooses to do.
Living one day at a time is the real key to avoiding getting caught-up in the fear of the future. When we stay present in the moment, we will not project bad things in our minds of what will happen tomorrow. We have no power that will allow us to know what is in store for us. We must manage our own lives as best as we can and let go of tomorrow.
Think about being present in time right where your feet are.