I learned how to deal with an arrogant alcoholic so that I would not get a bad attitude like theirs. I have no trouble at all protecting my serenity now. My story before learning how to deal with the negative behaviors that problem drinkers have was one of frustration and despair. There is hope for the hopeless, those of us who love the people in our lives who have horrible attitudes because of the drinking problem. I discovered my answers in AA and Ala-non.
First let me just say that you are never going to be able to please them. Their anger will rage no matter what. One day they complain about one thing and the next something completely different. The reason for this is one of the major symptoms of the disease is keeping those around them anxious and angry. If they can cause us to get upset with them then the focus is on our horrible behavior not theirs. This is one of the ways that they feed the arrogant attitude that they have. If it’s always your fault then you are the looser, not them. Alcoholics placing blame on those around them is one of their characteristics.
I would suggest starting a journal and keep it in a safe place where no one can find it. Everyday begin to log what has happened in the alcoholic relationship chaos of your life. As you do this be very aware of the things that are happening to set off the furry of the arrogance in them. I’ll bet that not long after you begin to keep your journal, you will start seeing how they push your buttons.
Once you have an understanding of the buttons that are being pushed on a regular basis, you can then stop responding to the arrogant attempts to get you mad and upset. An arrogant alcoholic is not worth losing your peace and serenity over. Once you start recognizing the things that they are deliberately doing to get the focus off of them and onto your bad behavior, you will start having more self control over your own actions.
You see, it is your choice to buy into arguing with an alcoholic or not. It always takes two to fight. Let me make a few suggestions that are guaranteed to help you stay out of trouble I the area of relations with the problem drinker in your life.
1)The next time the try to start an argument, tell them; “I am sorry you feel that way.” This will stop them dead in their tracks.
2)If they persist, politely tell them that you are not going to argue with them.
3)When they continue to try to push your buttons, tell them that you do not care to discuss the matter right now.
4)Go into another room, shut the door and lock it behind you. Make sure that you have a book, TV to watch or a radio to listen to for a while. A computer that has access to the Internet is a great way to pass some time while you are avoiding feeding their arrogant attitude.
This article may help as well: How To Stop Confronting An Alcoholic
Just about all alcoholics have a very arrogant side to them that causes them to get into all kinds of trouble. You must learn how to protect yourself from arguing with them or allowing them to belittle you and put you down. Understand this, you are not a horrible person. They are not either. They are just very sick from the disease of alcoholism.
Get help by attending Al-anon meetings in your area. While you are learning to make changes as you continue in support group meetings and reading literature, you will begin to lose your arrogant attitude towards the problem drinker in your life. They will still try their darnedest to get you upset, but you will begin to have the upper hand on not arguing and fighting anymore.