How can you best handle a jealous alcoholic? If your boyfriend or girlfriend is a little drunk, the unacceptable behavior gets worse. It appears that people who are insecure about themselves would have more of a tendency to get mad about a third person popping up in the realm of your relationships.
People don’t have to be jealous about people though. Oftentimes it may be an occupation or even a hobby that causes trouble in a relationship. For instance, suppose you are working all of the time or out playing golf instead of spending time with your best friend. That could cause some major waves between you two.
Here’s an observation to be considered though, are you doing things to cause them to not trust you? This should not take much thought. Just think about what would make you mad or to not trust your boyfriend or girlfriend. Be totally honest! If you are doing things that you would be mad at them for doing, then HELLO! Perhaps they have a right to be a little ticked off. Walk a mile in their shoes and see what life would be like for you.
If it’s OK for you to stay out all night long with a friend of the opposite sex and it’s not OK for your boyfriend or girl friend, in your eyes, to do the same then you have a major problem. Doing something like that is just asking for trouble anyway. If I am in love with someone why would I want to create an atmosphere that allows them to be left to their own devices in their head.
Anyway, if you just have a very possessive friend who has a drinking problem, then you may just need to set some boundaries or look for a more stable friend. Alcoholics can display very dysfunctional behaviors that have ill effects on us.
How to set boundaries with an alcoholic:
Only set the boundaries when the opportunity arises. If you start noticing a patterned behavior that relates to their being jealous, confront it in a nice way when it raises up in front of you. First off, reassure them of how much you love and care for their friendship. Ask them in a nice way to please stop whatever it is that they are doing. If they forget the boundary you set, remind them about it.
Now, if their jealous behaviors get to be uncomfortably unbearable, separate yourself from them for the moment until they calm down.
You should always live by the number one rule, “NEVER ARGUE WITH AN ALCOHOLIC.”
If you recognize that the relationship is just too unhealthy for you, then you should consider finding some new friends who are more stable. Dysfunctional alcoholic friends can be too much to deal with sometimes. It’s best to search out more healty relationships.
There are plenty of fish in the world for you to not have to live with a jealous boyfriend, friend or girlfriend. It’s just no worth the frustration of dealing with someone who is continually unreasonable when we are doing all that we can to ensure that they know that they are the only one we want to be with.
You can start attending alcoholism support group meetings if you want to continue your relationship with them.
After reading this article, I would not go one more day without finding an Al-anon support group to be part of.