You may have every right to be mad at the alcoholic in your life. You may have even reached the point where you don’t want to have anything to do with them right now. If that’s you, please understand that you are not alone. One of the weapons that an alcoholic uses is anger. If they can keep everyone around them upset, it helps to keep the focus off of them. While we are storming mad, they are having a great time with their drinking buddies at the bar.
Your story may be different than mine, but at the end of the day, somehow they are very much the same. I’ve interacted with thousands of people who know very well what it is like to be fuming mad at an alcoholic.
How do we overcome this raging madness that eats away at our serenity? There’s really not a quick fix, but there are many things that can help relieve the frustrations associated with dealing with an alcoholic.
Here are a few things you can try:
- Understand that they are in love with alcohol more than anything else in life. The desire for a drink drives their every action during a day. From the time an alcoholic awakens, getting a drink is consciously or sub consciously on their minds until they fall asleep. They are always looking for the opportunity to have a drink.
- Get in the habit of having a back-up plan. This means that any time you have made an arrangement to do something with an alcoholic, hold on to the possibility of them following through lightly. Have an alternative plan in your pocket just in case they do not show up for the engagement. You may still get mad at them, but because you have something else planned, the anger will be cut in half.
- Learn what the personality of an alcoholic looks like. This will help you in the process of letting go of the alcoholic a little faster. Once you know that just about all alcoholics lie, you will stop asking the question of why do alcoholics lie so much? When you learn that it’s not possible to have a rational conversation with a person who is intoxicated, you will stop trying to have them. Always avoid serious conversations with someone who is intoxicated.
- Learn techniques to help you stop obsessing over an alcoholic. When we stop being the private eye (PI) and let them live their own lives, there will be a whole lot less things to get mad about.
- Understand that they have to reach their own bottom. We can be mad at an alcoholic twenty-four-seven and it still won’t make them quit. Nothing that you or I do is going to cause them to stop drinking. The sooner you grip that truth, the sooner you will have more peace in your life. Understand, they must hit bottom on their own. You don’t believe me? Then tell me what you have done that has made an alcoholic stop drinking. That’s what I thought, NOTHING!
- Get involved in alcoholism support group meetings–This is probably the number one thing that will help you learn how to stop getting mad an alcoholic. There are people in organizations such as Al-anon who have learned how to live with an alcoholic in peace and have been doing so for many years. If you want to learn how to make a million dollars, hang out with a few millionaires. If you want to become an auto mechanic, go to school for mechanics. If you want to learn how to quit getting so mad at an alcoholic, interact with people who are capable of teaching you how.
Finally, understand that you have no control over another person’s actions. The best medicine is to start living your own life to the full even if they are drinking, Get your focus off of everything the alcoholic is doing and do things that you enjoy for a change. This is how we overcome being mad all of the time. Let the alcoholic go and start living a life filled with less stress and anxiety.