JC: Sarah, thanks for sharing your story (below). I’d say that since your alcoholic husband could have burned your house to the ground, you still have a serious problem on your hands. It’s only a matter of time before he will start staying out drinking all the time again. According to your story, the alcoholic you are living with is verbally abusive, possibly physically abusive (wanting to fight with your brother) and cannot be trusted to be alone when he is drunk, for fear of him catching the house on fire. These are very serious matters that should not be overlooked, especially since there are kids involved. First and foremost, take care of yourself by getting involved in Al-anon. If you don’t have the course on How To Cope With An Alcoholic, get it. It will help you learn quickly how to handle the difficult situations you are facing everyday.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Guest Post By: Sarah
I am in a very serious relationship with a alcoholic. I have been around many substance abusers my whole life from family to friends to men I have dated. But this man I am with now is the worse case I have seen. He has always been a bar goer since he was very young. Its not that he has to have a drink every day or all day. When he and his co-workers or friends want to drink, its not a few beers its lots of beers and shots on top of shots.
He is a construction worker. Work has been very scarce lately. The money has been coming in like it should be. I am the sole finical provider right now. He works so hard with many other alcoholics.
He is gone for hours after work at the bar and by the time he comes home the cash money he has made from work that day is gone. His behavior is so exhausting!
I love him unconditionally, but its so hard on the days when he does go the bar and gets tanked. He usually comes home and thinks he is funny as he tries to act like everything is fine while kissing one me and telling me how much he loves me, blah blah… Alcoholics are so good at manipulation!IAG
So when I get distant and quite and try to ignore him, he gets angry and verbally abuses me. He makes me feel like its all my fault that he gets drunk and tells me how much he deserves to drink because he works so hard…
He has 3 children, 2 of which we get 2 nites a week and every other weekend. He rarely drinks around the kids, its only when they are with their mothers that he drinks until he cant stand. I came home last month from work and he had went out the night before, got hammered drunk and came home trying to fight my little brother who lives with us. My husband then passes out on the floor and a few hours later vomits all over him self and the entire living room. Which he can’t recall the next day. When I left for work, he was passed out on the floor!
When I returned home from work, he was passed back out in bed, but he must have been hungry because he tried to cook something. He must have forgot because I walk into our house that was filled with smoke and there was an odor that almost made me vomit.
The nights out to the bar are very few and far between these days. He has been doing so much better. It use to be 3-4 nights a week and now it averages once or twice every two weeks… I know he is doing his best.
Thanks so much for all the information you have provided on this website. It has helped me get through all of this with respect and unconditional love.
Please feel free to leave a comment below. How would you handle things if the alcoholic almost caught your house on fire?
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