JC –thank you for the valuable information you provide. I have found it very helpful during these difficult times. There is one thing I
have not found the answer to and perhaps you can give me a tip. I have this PARALYZING fear that when my fiancé is inebriated, he will burn
the house down and I cannot get over it. I came home from work three weeks ago to the kitchen smoking because he left the burner on with a
plastic spatula over it. There was already an ember (fire spark) ignited. What if I didn’t come home when I did? That is my house, my life, the only thing I have- my animals, and HIM! I’ve begged him not to use the stove while he drinks and I’ve prepared sandwiches for him so he doesn’t have to cook. He went two weeks without drinking but he’s back on the bottle now and it’s all I can fixate on while I am at work helpless, worried to the core, petrified. I cry, I call/text multiple times a day (lucky to get a reply), but I cannot get over this paralyzing fear he will start my house on fire when he’s blacked out. How do I overcome this? Thank you in advance for your help. thank you for the information you freely provide as well.
JC: Heather, thanks for sharing your story. Those of us who choose to stay with alcoholics have many underlying fears. You can find a lot of helpful information on the topic of alcoholics starting the house on fire here: Alcoholic Almost Caught The House On Fire. Make sure you take the time to read the many comments below the article. You will find that you are not alone in your concerns.
In answer to your question, “how do I overcome this”? You have no control over your future husband’s choice to consume alcohol to the point of blacking out. The way I see things in situations like this…I only have two choices, change my attitude or get out of the relationship. When you get married, you have to live under the same roof. There’s really no way to get rid of this fear because there’s a very real possibility that he very well may burn the house to the ground. Sure, you can learn how to let go of your future husband’s alcoholism, but it doesn’t change the fact that he blacks out when he gets drunk and your home and animals are VERY much in danger of being destroyed.
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