The following story was submitted by one of our readers who is concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend. The alcoholic in this situation is also bipolar, a recipe for heightened dysfunction. The boyfriend seems to have made several attempts at getting sober, but has a history of relapsing. He is now in a rehab and is pulling away from Christine.
Story submitted by: Christine
I met my boyfriend a year ago at work. He has been an alcoholic for 20+ years been in and out of rehab 8 times. We didn’t officially get together until December 24th 2014, We have been together for 9 months. I have never been with anyone that is an alcoholic. I’ve stayed anyway…something inside me just said, “this is the one”. I have seen him sober and he has the most incredible heart and soul. I completely fell in love with him. As the months progressed the drinking became more intense. I was learning through experience everything I needed to know about this horrible disease.
He did counseling at 16 days sober. I have watch him detox himself. I have watch him get sick from detoxing, get the shakes, endure sweating, spend days in bed and lose jobs. I’ve seen the anger when he drinks, the crying when he says that he “missed” missed out on good things in life. He has also shared some of the deepest darkest secrets he has with me.
He has said to me, when he is drinking, “I love you and am in love with you. I want to be your partner in life”. When he is sober though, he is a totally different person. He’s quit, doesn’t speak to me, barley says I love you, doesn’t touch me or even look at me. His sober times are few and far between. He also suffers from a Bipolar disorder.
I have stood by his side for the last 9 months through the tears, arguments (Beaten Down By Alcoholic Boyfriend), fears, verbal fights, physical fights, laughter, lost jobs and have supported him in what goals he try’s to set for himself. I’ve stood by him during every relapse.
September 17th, 2015, I pushed him to get into a rehab program. He is 47 days sober. He told me 3 weeks ago that he couldn’t mentally handle a relationship and he has cut off all communication with me. I was crushed. Will I ever get him back? Was he lying to me about the way he felt? Was he using me? I don’t understand?
JC: Christine, I cannot begin to imagine the wild roller coaster ride you have been on while dating this person. It’s very difficult just being in a relationship with an alcoholic. I can’t imagine what life is like when the alcoholic is bipolar too. You might enjoy reading: Letting Go Of The Alcoholic’s Choices.
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