Guest Post By: Jenna
I met him March of 2014, and started to date him that May. He was everything to me. Charming, loving, caring, talented, motivated. I fell in love with him instantly. It didn’t take him long into our relationship for him to tell me he was an alcoholic.
To me, it didn’t matter. I grew up with one. My father was an alcoholic for 45 years of his life, and recovered and sober for the past 2.
My boyfriend went to rehab. He sought help. If my dad did it, I thought, so could my boyfriend.
The day after he got out of rehab, he relapsed (Alcoholic Boyfriend Relapsed). He contacted his ex girlfriends, told them he wanted to have their babies and wanted to marry them.I kicked him out of the house when I found out. Three days later, I took him back out of desperation. He was apologetic. He charmed his way back into my heart.
Since then, he has called me names – too horrible to write down. He has called my mom names, has made me feel crazy, and has made me feel broken. He’s threatened me, and broken up with and blocked me out about 4 times a week in the past year (his way of gaining power and control over my life).
We finally broke up this morning after I found out he had continued to contact his ex girlfriend. And I’m hoping this time it’s for good. He says I am the reason my father is an alcoholic (How To Handle An Alcoholic Blaming), and I am the reason that his life is so screwed up. I know this is victim blaming, and I know he is gas-lighting, but it still hurts to much to hear. I have lost a year and a half of my life on this man. And yet, when he comes crawling back to me, I am afraid I will be tempted to take him back.
I have lost all control over my life. I feel like I can’t even complete the simplest task without his help or opinion. I don’t even know who I am anymore, and I don’t know how I got this low. But more importantly – I have no idea how to get myself back up.
Please feel free to leave a comment below.
JC: Jenna, many of us have found help through attending Al-anon meetings. Find some meetings in your area and give Al-anon a try for about six weeks or so. Anytime we experience a relationship breakup it hurts. I am sure that you’ve been in deep pain over all of this insanity for a while now. This is a good time for you to get better and to find yourself again. Read this article: Detaching From An Alcoholic. This is a good story to read as well: Leaving An Alcoholic.